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write a paragraph about benefits and drawbacks of Facebook

write a paragraph about benefits and drawbacks of Facebook LLwXn
Nowadays, the number of people use facebook is increasing. Facebook brings many pros and cons. First, facebook brings a lot of benefits to modern people. Facebook helps people around the world connect with each other, update informations quickly, facebook is an idea location for business, buy and sell. It’s also runs as an entertainment tool, a powerful medium in education and nurtures our soul. On the other hand, facebook has changed the way many people communicate. People don’t communicate face to face instead they chat, call video to each other through the screen of smartphone. Besides that, it’s makes us lose focus on work, facebook increases the risk of depression and makes is lack of creativity
Nowadays, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
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facebook
is increasing.

Facebook brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros and cons.
First
,
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facebook
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to modern
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people
. Facebook
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world connect with each other, update
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
quickly
,
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facebook
is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
location for business,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and sell. It’s
also
runs as an entertainment tool, a powerful medium in education and nurtures our soul.
On the other hand
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
don’t communicate face to face
instead
they chat, call video to each other through the screen of smartphone.
Besides
that, it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us lose focus on work,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
increases the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of depression and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
is lack of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
creativity
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IELTS essay write a paragraph about benefits and drawbacks of Facebook

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
115 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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