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YOUNG PEOPLE ARE OFTEN THE FIRST TO SUFFER WEN JOB OPPURTUNITY ARE SCARE

YOUNG PEOPLE ARE OFTEN THE FIRST TO SUFFER WEN JOB OPPURTUNITY ARE SCARE 86gRB
In this contemporary era, unemployment is the most debatable question because of the high growth in population. However, youth people are often suffer when job opportunities are scare as youth do not have work experience. This essay will be discussing how age affects employment opportunities and how might youth deal with this issue. To commence with, there are several ways to affect age in getting a job. Firstly, most of the organisation choose the aged people because these type of people have too much experience and much knowledge about working environment. Moreover, if people have knowledge about their filed, organisation must be choose these type of people either young or old. Secondly, aged people have more patience as compared to young generation. Furthermore, there are many job available they need patience such as stock market and any investment job. For example, according to a report, around 57% of company prefer to higher old people rather than young people because they have more experience and patience. Moving further, there are plethora of solution to fight with this issue. Firstly, if student get practical knowlege about their subject at youger age, they should easily get the job. Moreover, the government and university can organized the industrial training during their college time, it might be helpful to will get a job, Secondly, the youth generation is always ready to learn new things. Furthermore, if children learn a new skills in their vacation or free time related to thier intrest, they will must get a job in their intresting field. For instance, in most of the developed countries, universities provide the industrial training in thier course, and these things will help to get job. In conclusion, although person have proper education and qualifications, these people don't get a job in real world because they do not have industrial experiences.
In this contemporary era, unemployment is the most debatable question
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the high growth in population.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
suffer when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities are scare as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
do not have work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. This essay will be discussing how age affects employment opportunities and how might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
deal with this issue.

To commence with, there are several ways to affect age in getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Firstly
, most of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
choose the aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and much knowledge about working environment.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have knowledge about their filed,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Consider using the past participle "chosen"?
choose
these type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
either young or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
Secondly
, aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more patience as compared to young generation.
Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "jobs"?
job
available they need patience such as stock market and any investment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For example
, according to a report, around 57% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
prefer to higher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rather
than young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and patience.

Moving
further
, there are plethora of solution to fight with this issue.
Firstly
, if student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
practical
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowlege
about their subject at
Possible spelling mistake found.
youger
age, they should
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and university can organized the industrial training during their college time, it might be helpful to will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
generation is always ready to learn new things.
Furthermore
, if children learn a new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "skill"?
skills
in their vacation or free time related to
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrest
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
intresting
field.
For instance
, in most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, universities provide the industrial training in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
course, and these things will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job.

In conclusion
, although person have proper education and qualifications, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in real world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
.
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IELTS essay YOUNG PEOPLE ARE OFTEN THE FIRST TO SUFFER WEN JOB OPPURTUNITY ARE SCARE

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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