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Young people always want to dress differently from their parents.

Young people always want to dress differently from their parents. PWRyj
Some people think that children want to dress differently from their elders. I completely agree with this opinion, but I think it depends on mentality. To start with that we have European and Asian countries. And I think not all, but mostly teenagers of Europian dressed differ from parents. Because mentalities are freer than Asians. Due to the fact that in these countries young people are on-trend. Furthermore in Asian countries mentality is strong. I think young generation mostly like to dress up as older people, for instance, like their own parents. Also, in my opinion, it depends on their friends and society. A wide range of youngers wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing something old fashioned. That’s why they don’t suit parents. Nowadays, most young people have the height of fashion. And they mostly want to dress as peers. Taking everything into consideration, I believe it would be better if children dressed differently from older by supporting their mentality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that children want to dress
differently
from their elders. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it depends on mentality.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with that we have European and Asian countries. And I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
not all,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Europian
dressed differ from parents.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
mentalities are freer than Asians. Due to the fact that in these countries young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are on-trend.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
in Asian
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
mentality is strong. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
young generation
mostly
like to dress up as older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
for instance
, like their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
parents.

Also
, in my opinion, it depends on their friends and society. A wide range of
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing something
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
. That’s why they don’t suit parents. Nowadays, most young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the height of fashion. And they
mostly
want to dress as peers.

Taking everything into consideration, I believe it would be better if children dressed
differently
from older by supporting their mentality.

IELTS essay Young people always want to dress differently from their parents.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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