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school should be close because children can gain knowledge online do u agree or disagree

school should be close because children can gain knowledge online do u agree or disagree NMl22
Currently, Due to pandemic whole world is facing problem and because this all countries are inclined to change their traditional education system, School are closed and student are learning online. This lead to new pattern of learning online. I partially agree on this notion both the views will be elaborated further in the essay. nowadays, people are more interested in taking knowledge online rather than going to the schools. because they can utilize their precious time developing new hobbies and skills rather than wasting 6-7 hours sitting in the school. In addition, travelling time is also saved. Moreover, they across many different variety of people from different backgrounds therefor, they will gain knowledge of different culture and they will get exposure. However, some people like traditional method of teaching because it help student to interact more with teacher and due to this student will developed more out spoken personality. Under supervision of the teachers student will learn good manners and school enabled children to follow the school norms and discipline, Which will be helpful for student in future when they will be exposed to real worldTo put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that both type online and offline studies have their merits and demerits however going to school help children to develop good personality and also faced the reality of the world which children can't face by sitting home and studying online.
Currently
, Due to pandemic whole world is facing problem and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this all countries
are inclined
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their traditional education system,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
are closed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
are learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. This lead to new pattern of learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on this notion both the views will
be elaborated
further
in the essay.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nowadays
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more interested in taking knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
rather
than going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
they can utilize their precious time developing new hobbies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
rather
than wasting 6-7 hours sitting in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
In addition
, travelling time is
also
saved.
Moreover
, they across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds therefor, they will gain knowledge of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
culture and
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposure.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like traditional method of teaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to interact more with teacher and due to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "develop"
developed
more out spoken personality. Under supervision of the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "teachers'" or "teacher's"?
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manners and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
enabled children to follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
norms and discipline, Which will be helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in future when they will
be exposed
to real
Possible spelling mistake found.
worldTo
put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that both type
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and offline studies have their merits and demerits
however
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personality and
also
faced the reality of the world which children can't face by sitting home and studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.

IELTS essay school should be close because children can gain knowledge online do u agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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