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Young generations How to deal

Young generations How to deal ldd2o
It is often said to young generations in some cultures that achievement is only possible with hard work. Improving perseverance skill is the main advantage of the given statement, whilst it might cause tremendous waste of time after many unsuccessful attempts. One of the success keys is persevering in order to achieve a goal. This ability should be gained in earl stage of people’s life and improve it by time. Therefore, the idea of keep trying can help children constantly to keep try on their dreams and work on them even though they failed several times. Mozzart, the famous composer who lived in 18th century, started music when he was 5 years old, and his first works were not successfull. However, he did not stop trying and eventually achieved the role of the best classical music composer. On the other hand, it is just a waste of time to spend time on something that is not talented for. There should be a point that children should decide to move on or not for their aims after many try and failure. For instance, singing requires talent as well as education, so it is impossible to achive the goal of the being singer without a good voice. To conclude, perseverance skill is the main benefit that helps children to achieve their goals but also the skill also can lead waste of time, and it causes of focusing on something not capable to do.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said to young generations in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures that achievement is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. Improving perseverance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is the main advantage of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement, whilst it might cause tremendous waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unsuccessful attempts.

One of the success keys is persevering in order to achieve a goal. This ability should
be gained
in earl stage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
trying can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children
constantly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
try on their dreams and work on them
even though
they failed several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mozzart
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
composer who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in 18th century,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
music when he was 5 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, and his
first
works were not
Possible spelling mistake found.
successfull
.
However
, he did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
trying and
eventually
achieved the role of the best classical music composer.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on something
that is
not talented for. There should be a point that children should decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on or not for their aims after
Possible agreement error. The noun try seems to be countable; consider using: "many tries".
many try
and failure.
For instance
, singing requires talent
as well
as education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is impossible to
Possible spelling mistake found.
achive
the goal of the being singer without a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
voice.

To conclude
, perseverance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is the main benefit that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
children to achieve their goals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
also
can lead waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and it causes of focusing on something not capable to do.
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IELTS essay Young generations How to deal

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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