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Writing task 2: Today social media has replaced traditional methods of communication. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

Writing task 2: Today social media has replaced traditional methods of communication. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development. nddJn
Nowadays, it is strongly believed that modern technologies completely replace traditional methods of communication. And of course, each of problems has both sides: positive and negative. It can't be denied that in industry 4. 0, all of us use more and more social media to make our communication become easier. On the grounds that these social media are developed considerably and helps people to communicate easily. First of all, in general, These days, people tend to communicate with each other via social media like Facebook, Twitter. . . In spite of staying far away from our family, friends, we don't still feel alone. To illustrate, we can chat, share exactly our location or status with lovely line about our feeling. So that, our friend and beloved family can share not only happiness but also joylessness. Secondly, social media acts as a great platform to raise the knowledge on different issues. For instance, at this time, we can update how the spread of covid is. Besides, at the age of teenager, students can widen knowledge by taking part in online class. On the other hand, this development of these modern technologies also brings disadvantages. It goes without saying that social media will jeopardize user's personal and private life. Especiaally, according to survey data, almost young teenagers are addicted to using phone application such as messenger for constantly chatting with their friends. Moreover, many people who lack relations of people, they usually live in illusion with other friends. In conclusion, to my mind, each of us ought to use social media carefully and change our habit to lead a modern life.
Nowadays, it is
strongly
believed that modern technologies completely replace traditional methods of communication. And
of course
, each of problems has both sides:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. It can't
be denied
that in industry 4. 0, all of us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our communication become easier. On the grounds that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are developed
considerably
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate
easily
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
in general
, These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to communicate with each other via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
like Facebook, Twitter.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
staying far away from our family,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, we don't
still
feel alone. To illustrate, we can chat, share exactly our location or status with lovely line about our feeling.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
and beloved family can share not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
joylessness.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
acts as a great platform to raise the knowledge on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
issues.
For instance
, at this time, we can update how the spread of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
is.
Besides
, at the age of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
, students can widen knowledge by taking part in online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
On the other hand
, this development of these modern technologies
also
brings disadvantages. It goes without saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will jeopardize user's personal and private life.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Especiaally
, according to survey data, almost young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are addicted
to using phone application such as messenger for
constantly
chatting with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who lack relations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in illusion with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
In conclusion
, to my mind, each of us ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
carefully
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our habit to lead a modern life.
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IELTS essay Writing task 2: Today social media has replaced traditional methods of communication. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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