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some people argue that the inclusion of physical education

some people argue that the inclusion of physical education rKKAN
The inclusion of physical education classes into the school curricula has been a topic of increasing debate. Some argue that school children should not waste time on non-academic subjects, whereas others side with their inclusion for the overall physical health of children. This essay will discuss, with given reasons, both points of view. Now, with increasing modern technology, children often feel no need to wander beyond their bedroom and phone spending hours sitting down. This has caused a rise in obesity levels. However, simply including one physical education class a day can overcome this dilemma as it allows students to engage in different forms of exercise daily while not forcing an overwhelming effect on their personal lives. In addition, classes as such will enable students to look beyond the scope of academics in terms of career paths. For one might discover a passion for sports, exercise or any physical education field. This will diversify the career paths of the coming generation, thus resulting in a well-rounded society. Finally, a study conducted in 2015, found that serotonin levels in children who participated in sports activities were greater than their counterpart, as well as improved academic performance. With the rise of the COVID-19 pandemic, the academic field has become increasingly competitive. That being said, more parents are arguing that a sports class would be a waste of time and that children should instead focus on academics and achieving high grades for their prospective university options. It is also worth mentioning that a few believe that the health and physical well-being of children is a parental responsibility and not the schools. Indeed, sports classes might be beneficial, but they create competition between classmates and can affect forming friendships and ultimately, result in bullying. For instance, a student not being able to perform a sport with the same skill level as his peers will be a social outcast. To conclude, whether to include physical education classes is arguable; however, there are certain benefits on the health of children alongside the academic drawback. In my opinion, I believe their addition to the school curriculum will prove more advantages than their absence.
The inclusion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curricula has been a topic of increasing debate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not waste time on non-academic subjects, whereas others side with their inclusion for the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay will discuss, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
reasons, both points of view.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, with increasing modern technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel no need to wander beyond their bedroom and phone spending hours sitting down. This has caused a rise in obesity levels.
However
,
simply
including one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
a day can overcome this dilemma as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
students to engage in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms of exercise daily while not forcing an overwhelming effect on their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
as such will enable students to look beyond the scope of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
in terms of career paths. For one might discover a passion for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, exercise or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
field. This will diversify the career paths of the coming generation,
thus
resulting in a well-rounded society.
Finally
, a study conducted in 2015, found that serotonin levels in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who participated in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities were greater than their counterpart,
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performance.

With the rise of the COVID-19 pandemic, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
field has become
increasingly
competitive. That
being said
, more parents are arguing that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
would be a waste of time and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
instead
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
and achieving high grades for their prospective university options. It is
also
worth mentioning that a few believe that the health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
well-being of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is a parental responsibility and not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
might be beneficial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they create competition between classmates and can affect forming friendships and
ultimately
, result in bullying.
For instance
, a student not being able to perform a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
with the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
level as his peers will be a social outcast.

To conclude
, whether to include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
is arguable;
however
, there are certain benefits on the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
alongside the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
drawback. In my opinion, I believe their addition to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum will prove more advantages than their absence.
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IELTS essay some people argue that the inclusion of physical education

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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