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young generation should be restricted for the internet access to avoid cyberbullying targeted.

young generation should be restricted for the internet access to avoid cyberbullying targeted. RRg18
Technology development is more advances in this era, include use of the internet. Indeed, its affect to young people's life, especially in this Covid-19 pandemic situation many young generation using a lot of the internet access. Some people believe internet access used by youth should be restricted due to many of them have been target of cyberbullying. However, in my own perspective I do agree with this statement which is young generation should be restricted for the internet access to avoid cyberbullying targeted. Well known, our youth generation need extra time to improve their knowledge and capability through the internet world even though during the Covid-19 pandemic situation as restricted mobility outside. Many positive aspects that can be received among teenagers from the internet access, like for learning something new, enhancing another hard-skill or soft-skill that couldn't received from shool, build a widely social networking across the world, and so on. Although, internet not only have a positive impact but also has a negative impact for youth generation. One of the many problems from the internet is cyberbullying. Many social media has been created in the internet world, such as Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and many more related with that. And this is in line with negative impact in social interaction on the social media, we called it Cyberbullying. For example, many selebgram or influencer or famous person in social media gained a lot of cyberbullying from netizen or citizen in the internet even though until adult actress in Korean did suicide because of that. How about our young generation? Which is they not mature yet in make decision. So, it is important for us as adult to restricted and guided young generation access to the internet. Teenagers with not mature yet on their brain before 21 years old based on UNICEF criteria due to executive function, like planning skill, emotion regulation, and also make a decision. It can be high risk for them to not mature or better in problem solving when many of them have been the target of cyberbullying. Exactly, our government must be involved in this act, because government has a great access to make a regulation for all citizen in the internet used by. In my conclusion, we should be give a several warning and guiding to youth generation that related with avoid the target of cyberbullying, minimal with restricted access to the internet.
Technology development is more advances in this era, include
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet.
Indeed
, its affect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life,
especially
in this Covid-19 pandemic situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restricted
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them have been target of cyberbullying.
However
, in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restricted
for the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to avoid cyberbullying targeted.

Well known, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
generation need extra time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their knowledge and capability through the internet world
even though
during the Covid-19 pandemic situation as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restricted
mobility outside.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects that can
be received
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
from the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
, like for learning something new, enhancing another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
or soft-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that couldn't
The verb 'couldn't' requires base form of this verb: "receive"
received
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
shool
, build a
widely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking across the world, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Although, internet not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
generation. One of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems from the internet is cyberbullying.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
been created
in the internet world, such as Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more related with that. And this is in line with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media, we called it Cyberbullying.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
selebgram
or influencer or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
person in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media gained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
cyberbullying from netizen or citizen
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
even though
until adult actress in Korean did suicide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that. How about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation? Which
The pronoun 'is' must be used with "are".
is
they not mature
yet
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decision.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us as adult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restricted
and guided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the internet.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
with not mature
yet
on their brain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
21 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
based on UNICEF criteria due to executive function, like planning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, emotion regulation, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision. It can be high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for them to not mature or better in problem solving when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them have been the target of cyberbullying. Exactly, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be involved
in this act,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a regulation for all citizen
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by.

In my conclusion, we should be
Did you mean "given"?
give
a several warning and guiding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
generation that related with avoid the target of cyberbullying, minimal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restricted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the internet.
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IELTS essay young generation should be restricted for the internet access to avoid cyberbullying targeted.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
400 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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