Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

successful athletes can easily earn a great deal more money than other people.

successful athletes can easily earn a great deal more money than other people. bxWnX
Over the past few years, it is true that sports professionals’ salary has become a broad issue to the general public. While it can be argued that successful athletes can easily earn a great deal more money than other people. However, there are some people who strongly advocate that it is may unfair for other important professionals. In my opinion, I totally agree with the former point of view. Discussed below are several reasons supporting the two perspectives. First and foremost, people should recognize those famous athletes who can easily earn a lot of money. A very important point to consider is that sports professionals have been trained hard to become successful people. This means that they must abandon their study at school and completely focus on training. Moreover, professional athletes require to obey the diet process with the main purpose is build up muscles in the body. Another point I would like to make is that it is common for sports professionals to face many dangerous injuries. This is because of the fact that their body always works under pressure which is far higher than the lever a normal person can stand. On the other hand, there are several arguments supporting the statement that the unworthy in the number of money famous athletes are able to earn. In fact, people have this opinion because athletes’ income is extremely enormous. This means that their salary accounted for the largest sector in the total wage-fund of an organization and it may unfair for some employees when they contribute much higher than the income they receive. In conclusion, the above-mentioned facts created a dilemma when people discuss the impact of this issue, and it is still parked debatable issue in recent years. As far as I am concerned, I put more emphasis on the idea that it is satisfying for the amount of money that sports professionals can earn.
Over the past few years, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals’
salary has become a broad issue to the
Consider using "public".
general public
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
it can
be argued
that successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
a great deal more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
strongly
advocate that it is may unfair for other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former point of view. Discussed below are several reasons supporting the two perspectives.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should recognize those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
who can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point to consider is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
have
been trained
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to become successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This means that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
abandon their study at school and completely focus on training.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
require to obey the diet process with the main purpose is build up muscles in the body. Another point I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
is that it is common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
to face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
injuries. This is
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
their body always works under pressure which is far higher than the lever a normal person can stand.

On the other hand
, there are several arguments supporting the statement that the unworthy in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes’
income is
extremely
enormous. This means that their salary accounted for the largest sector in the total wage-fund of an organization and it
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
may unfair
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employees when they contribute much higher than the income they receive.

In conclusion
, the above-mentioned facts created a dilemma when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
discuss the impact of this issue, and it is
still
parked debatable issue in recent years. As far as I
am concerned
, I put more emphasis on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it is satisfying for the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay successful athletes can easily earn a great deal more money than other people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts