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Young adults show different patterns of behavior when they have to decide whether to continue to live with their family or not.

Young adults show different patterns of behavior when they have to decide whether to continue to live with their family or not. gbrWg
Young adults show different patterns of behavior when they have to decide whether to continue to live with their family or not. For instance, in the United States, young adults prefer to live separated from their parents as soon as possible. This tendency reflects wises of freedom and independence. Although this behavior has remarkable advantages and disadvantages, the advantage can overwhelm the negative effects. It is important to recognize that living separated from parents or family can be riskier than living with them. many young adults are victims of group pressure and gangs because of their parent's absence. However, a significant advantage of living by oneself is that people develop leadership skills. Individuals that live by themselves learn to do and sustain their own decisions. On the contrary, people who live with their parents are shyer and less confident. For instance, many of the greatest world leaders are or have been people that were separated from their parents when they were kids. Another advantage of living independently is that people can fully develop their creative potential. When people are forced into difficult situations, they can surprise us with outstanding abilities and values that otherwise remained hidden. A good example is blind people, these people show a remarkable ability for art and music. In a similar way, when parents are absent or too away for help, individuals manage to survive and be successful.
Young adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
patterns of behavior when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
decide whether to continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their family or not.
For instance
, in the United States, young adults prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
separated from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. This tendency reflects wises of freedom and independence. Although this behavior has remarkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
can overwhelm the

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to recognize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
separated from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or family can be riskier than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
many
young adults are victims of group pressure and gangs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their parent's absence.

However
, a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
by oneself is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
develop

leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Individuals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
by themselves learn to do and sustain their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are shyer and less confident.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the greatest world leaders are or have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
were separated
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
when they were kids. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
independently
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
fully
develop their creative potential. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forced
into difficult situations, they can surprise us with outstanding abilities and values that
otherwise
remained hidden. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is blind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a remarkable ability for art and music.
Consider replacing "In a similar way" with the adverb for "similar"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
In a similar way
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are absent or too away for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, individuals manage to survive and be successful.
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IELTS essay Young adults show different patterns of behavior when they have to decide whether to continue to live with their family or not.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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