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Should schools engage in character education to instill morals and values in children? Explain your answer. v.1

Should schools engage in character education to instill morals and values in children? Explain your answer. v. 1
Generally, people strive hard to attain their goals in their life. A certain portion of them believe that a victorious path is necessary to improve the standard of living and a few of them feel that it is effective to spend quality time with parents, grandparents, and relatives. In my opinion, both are needed to attain moral values and good standard of living to lead a respectful life in the community and the neighbourhood. Moral values play a vital role in an individual. Currently, many nuclear families grew because of various job opportunities. In the olden days, people used to live in joint families and share the feelings and inculcate helping nature along with discipline. This in turn is helpful to the society as well as to the nation. Today, it is lacking behind as most of them were travelling abroad for education and career development. Coming to the standard of living, everyone wants to attain their desires and fulfil their daily needs and expenses, especially for children's education, development and improvement. Many universities are offering good job opportunities all around the globe. Also, a successful career leads to a good life for the next generations. Even job satisfaction is important for an individual. Finally, I conclude that both a successful career and family are important to lead a satisfactory life. Hence, a combination of good job satisfaction and foes make a person's life cheerful. Therefore, priority should be given to job satisfaction to spend enough quality time with friends.
Generally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
strive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to attain their goals in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. A certain portion of them believe that a victorious path is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the standard of living and a few of them feel that it is effective to spend quality time with parents, grandparents, and relatives. In my opinion, both
are needed
to attain moral values and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
standard of living to lead a respectful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the community and the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.

Moral values play a vital role in an individual.
Currently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nuclear families grew
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities. In the olden days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in joint families and share the feelings and inculcate helping nature along with discipline. This in turn is helpful to the society
as well
as to the nation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, it is lacking behind as most of them were travelling abroad for education and career development.

Coming to the standard of living, everyone wants to attain their desires and fulfil their daily needs and expenses,
especially
for children's education, development and improvement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
universities are offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities all around the globe.
Also
, a successful career leads to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for the
next
generations. Even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for an individual.

Finally
, I conclude that both a successful career and family are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to lead a satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Hence
, a combination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction and foes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
cheerful.
Therefore
, priority should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
quality time with friends.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Should schools engage in character education to instill morals and values in children? Explain your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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