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you want to learn a course related to your work. Write a letter to your employer aboutWhat the course is? How it will benefit to the company? v.1

you want to learn a course related to your work. Write a letter to your employer aboutWhat the course is? How it will benefit to the company? v. 1
At the current time of technological advancement; one of the most pressing concerns regarding the given topic asserts that whether it is true that teachers of the past were more likely to give science to their students as compared teachers of present time due to the advancement in the sources of material? I completely disagree with this statement and shall explore the dimensions and assertions of this time and shape up my opinion by the end. To begin with, in the past era, there were not many sources of instruction available to students so the lecturer was the only way for them for seeking advice regarding any topic. Therefore, it does not mean that now, in the modern period; due to the availability of gadgets, modern teacher has no role in the development of the pupil. For instance, even a graduate can acquire knowledge from the internet, however, he would not be able to understanding properly the practical operations of that report without the aid of an assistant. Apart from that, Modern teachers are well-educated and hired a well desirable and respectful place in this world. Moreover, modern teachers not only polish the mind of the graduate by digital method, but also let them understand the social and moral values. Furthermore, the modern study is so complex and harder than past, so professor plays a great role in understanding the scholar each and every aspect of their studies, tinting, how can it be said that modern scholar has no role to play in the education? In conclusion, I tend to believe that a supervisor is like a lamp who always show the path of the students and brighten up the way of their destination. Whatever the source of knowledge is, without the guidance of teacher, nobody can be success in his life
At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time of technological advancement; one of the most pressing concerns regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic asserts that whether it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
of the past were more likely to give science to their students as compared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
of present time due to the advancement in the sources of material? I completely disagree with this statement and shall explore the dimensions and assertions of this time and shape up my opinion by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in the past era, there were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sources of instruction available to students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the lecturer was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way for them for seeking advice regarding any topic.
Therefore
, it does not mean that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
period; due to the availability of gadgets,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has no role in the development of the pupil.
For instance
, even a graduate can acquire knowledge from the internet,
however
, he would not be able to understanding
properly
the practical operations of that report without the aid of an assistant.

Apart from that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are well-educated and hired a well desirable and respectful place in this world.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
polish the mind of the graduate by digital method,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them understand the social and moral values.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
study is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
complex and harder than past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
professor plays a great role in understanding the scholar each and every aspect of their studies, tinting, how can it
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
scholar has no role to play in the education?

In conclusion
, I tend to believe that a supervisor is like a lamp who always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the path of the students and brighten up the way of their destination. Whatever the source of knowledge is, without the guidance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
, nobody can be success in his
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay you want to learn a course related to your work. Write a letter to your employer aboutWhat the course is? How it will benefit to the company? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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