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It is generally believe that some people are born with certain talent, for instances for sports and music, and others are not. However it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to be good sportsperson or musician. Discuss both these views and g v.1

It is generally believe that some people are born with certain talent, for instances for sports and music, and others are not. However it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to be good sportsperson or musician. 1
Video gaming is booming with new technology which allows kids as well as elder to enjoy it and it is very popular all around with earth. Some think that it provides limited knowledge and it is dangerous for youngsters. In this essay I will like to talk about my point of view with certain case which I have come across. To start with, computerized game is the best source for entertainment. There have been up word rise due to its graphical quality and its story base. Some people's tend to play it for fun for their personal satisfaction, but some play it international. For example, CSGO, DOTA and many other game's hold an international competition on where best player's come's from the different part's of the earth. It is one of the sources to connect people and to enjoy with them. For instance, there is games which are open world such as an MMO, Destiny et. This type of platforms connects to huge servers where any person from any part of the world can connect to the other side of the planet. It does increase any person's reaction pace the best example I can give for such game would be CSGO where reaction pace and your hearing plays a major role. It is provided with educational also as when one play a story some occasion games are made up or around the historical period so one can know about the history and some games are made of choices where one need to use their critical thinking in a game such as dying light. With new technology, even elder's are able to enjoy the game's and have the same experience as a youngster. Which sometime even create their bounds more strong. For example, If father and son play's games they can share their thoughts and they will be able to understand each other's thinking mentality. Well games do provide some kind of knowledge, but we shouldn't neglect the other side of its effects. It does provide us with entertainment, but even relax our mood after a hard working day, but for kids it can be harmful if they do tend to spend more hour on it as it can affect their eyesight and sometimes even make them loss focus from studies which can even lead ruin there. For instance, there have been some cases where kids leave their studies and give computerized game more priority. In conclusion, in my opinion, computer gamers are meant for fun or for entertainment and it should be used in limited, one shouldn't overdo it as it can affect your life.
Video gaming is booming with new technology which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
kids
as well
as elder to enjoy it and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular all around with earth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it provides limited knowledge and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for youngsters. In this essay I
Did you mean "would"?
will
like to talk about my point of view with certain case which I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, computerized game is the best source for entertainment. There have been up word rise due to its graphical quality and its story base.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
it for fun for their personal satisfaction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
international.
For example
, CSGO,
Possible spelling mistake found.
DOTA
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other game's hold an international competition on
A determiner is probably missing here: "where the best".
where best
player's
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "comes"?
come's
from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part's of the earth. It is one of the sources to connect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and to enjoy with them.
For instance
, there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which are open world such as an
Possible spelling mistake found.
MMO
, Destiny
Possible spelling mistake found.
et
. This type of platforms connects to huge servers where any person from any part of the world can connect to the other side of the planet. It does increase any person's reaction pace the best example I can give for such game would be CSGO where reaction pace and your hearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
a major role. It
is provided
with educational
also
as when one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a story
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occasion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are made
up or around the historical period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one can know about the history and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are made
of choices where one need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their critical thinking in a game such as dying light. With new technology, even
Did you mean the plural instead of the possessive?
elder's
are able to enjoy the game's and have the same experience as a youngster.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
sometime even create their bounds more strong.
For example
, If father and son play's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
they can share their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
thoughts and
they will be able to understand each other's thinking mentality.

Well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
do provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we shouldn't neglect the other side of its effects. It does provide us with entertainment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
even relax our mood after a
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for kids it can be harmful if they do tend to spend more hour on it as it can affect their eyesight and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them loss focus from studies which can even lead ruin there.
For instance
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases where kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their studies and give computerized game more priority.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, computer gamers
are meant
for fun or for entertainment and it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in limited, one shouldn't overdo it as it can affect your life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally believe that some people are born with certain talent, for instances for sports and music, and others are not. However it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to be good sportsperson or musician. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
435 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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