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You stayed at a hotel recently and forgot your clothes there. Write a letter to the hotel manager and say– When and where did you stay? – Describe your clothes. – What would you like the manager to do about it? v.1

You stayed at a hotel recently and forgot your clothes there. Write a letter to the hotel manager and say– When and where did you stay? – Describe your clothes. – What would you like the manager to do about it? v. 1
Migrating from one country to another for various reasons is one of the newest trends among people across the globe these days. Many individuals move with their spouses and children to which some people argue that it leads to difficult situations for their offspring. On the contrary, others think that children gain a lot of advantages from this transition. This essay will juxtapose both these views, and finally conclude with my opinion. As children get exposed to a new culture and society, sometimes it becomes hard for them to understand and cope with these changes. Consequently, they can easily get confused and sometimes feel lost and language change is one of the major reasons for it. For instance, there is a great enthusiasm among Indians to migrate to Canada, but as the native language followed by Indian schools is Hindi, it becomes difficult for minors to cope with Canadian accent English schools and teachers. Furthermore, they also face a plethora of hardships in adjusting to school culture and getting acquainted with them. On the other hand, this can be seen as a refreshing change in a child's life as he gets to experience two different worlds in his life which can have a positive effect on him. Additionally, it gives a child opportunities to explore more which can help in broadening their thought process and widen their mind's perspective as they can compare and choose the best options for themselves and finally decide what they actually want. In conclusion, the negatives of moving from one country to another in a child's life are few, I believe positives are more as children are gullible and can easily cope with such changes.
Migrating from one country to another for various reasons is one of the newest trends among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
across the globe these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
with their spouses and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that it leads to difficult situations for their offspring.
On the contrary
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages from this transition. This essay will juxtapose both these views, and
finally
conclude with my opinion.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to a new culture and society,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it becomes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to understand and cope with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
.
Consequently
, they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
confused and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
feel lost and language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is one of the major reasons for it.
For instance
, there is a great enthusiasm among Indians to migrate to Canada,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as the native language followed by Indian schools is Hindi, it becomes difficult for minors to cope with Canadian accent English schools and teachers.
Furthermore
, they
also
face a plethora of hardships in adjusting to school culture and getting acquainted with them.

On the other hand
, this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a refreshing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in a child's life as he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to experience two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
worlds in his life which can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on him.
Additionally
, it gives a child opportunities to explore more which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in broadening their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process and widen their mind's perspective as they can compare and choose the best options for themselves and
finally
decide what they actually want.

In conclusion
, the negatives of moving from one country to another in a child's life are few, I believe positives are more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are gullible and can
easily
cope with such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay You stayed at a hotel recently and forgot your clothes there. Write a letter to the hotel manager and say– When and where did you stay? – Describe your clothes. – What would you like the manager to do about it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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