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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons wh v.1

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101
Firstly, elderly people are playing our surroundings; The approximate life expectancy has been increasing in the past few decades or so, hence the peculiar phenomena of dramatic development in the total of seniors among our population. Surprisingly, this increase not only bring smiles, but also frowns like anything in life, and in this essay both negative and positive effects are discussed. On one hand, the proportional increase in the number of senior has many merits in my opinion. Moreover, any country witnessing the previous phenomena indicates, in my opinion, a strong medical system and improved lifestyle. For further elaboration, in such countries relentless screening for common diseases and vigilante medical insurance to assure that most of the population falls under its coverage. Furthermore, seniors are crucial to society in terms of wisdom and broad perspective that they can offer to youngsters which is invaluable, to put it in other words, more kids will find guidance. Hence, the importance of the overall increase number of seniors. Secondly, on the other hand, like anything else in the world this phenomena have some drawbacks. additionally, scientists have proven that humans, as we get older our immune system takes a more kick back attitude which means in the case of a pandemic, such as the COVID19 seniors and elderly citizens are the weakest link in our society and also among the majority of fatalities due to their impaired immune system. Surprisingly, the blissful increase in the number of seniors would be a heavy burden in terms of medical cost, which will take its toll on the government budget. Finally, seniors are the cornerstone of any society, although, they might need costly care, but their output to our community is priceless.
Firstly
, elderly
people
are playing our surroundings; The approximate life expectancy has been increasing in the past few decades or
so
,
hence
the peculiar phenomena of dramatic development in the total of
seniors
among our population.
Surprisingly
, this
increase
not
only
bring smiles,
but
also
frowns like anything in life, and in this essay both
negative
and
positive
effects
are discussed
.

On one hand, the proportional
increase
in the number of
senior
has
many
merits in my opinion.
Moreover
, any country witnessing the previous phenomena indicates, in my opinion, a strong medical system and
improved
lifestyle. For
further
elaboration, in such countries relentless screening for common diseases and vigilante medical insurance to assure that most of the population falls under its coverage.
Furthermore
,
seniors
are crucial to society in terms of wisdom and broad perspective that they can offer to youngsters which is invaluable, to put it
in other words
, more kids will find guidance.
Hence
, the importance of the
overall
increase
number of seniors.

Secondly
,
on the other hand
, like anything else in the world
this
phenomena have
some
drawbacks.
additionally
, scientists have proven that humans, as we
get
older our immune system takes a more kick back attitude which means in the case of a pandemic, such as the
COVID19
seniors
and elderly citizens are the weakest link in our society and
also
among the majority of fatalities due to their impaired immune system.
Surprisingly
, the blissful
increase
in the number of
seniors
would be a heavy burden in terms of medical cost, which will take its toll on the
government
budget.

Finally
,
seniors
are the cornerstone of any society, although, they might need costly care,
but
their output to our community is priceless.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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