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IELTS Writing Task 2 IELTS Essay You should spend about 40 minutes on this task Write about the following topic The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems What are those problems In order to redu v.1

IELTS Writing Task 2 IELTS Essay The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems What are those problems In order to redu v. 1
It is true that many species of animals are in danger of extinction because of the loss of natural habitats which is caused by deforestation, illegal hunting and an increase in word population. I would argue that protecting animals are very necessary and there are several that could be taken to resolve the issue. There are some reasons why conserving species of animals are very important. Firstly, deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting are contributing factors that destroy wildlife habitats and the Earth’s ecosystems might be imbalance if there were a loss of species. Secondly, the loss in the number of animals could not continue to maintain the biodiversity of the planet where people are living. For example, if people continue to destroy forests and hunting illegally some precious kinds of birds, there would be a loss of these types of birds lead to the extinction of other species, since these birds are food sources. In my view, there are several solutions to tackle the issues described above. One solution that could be taken by the governments is that the authorities should introduce new laws which ban people on hunting illegally and destroying the forests. Besides, natural areas and wild animals should be protected by conserving with the invested money from governments and businesses. Fining is also an effective way to solve the problems, police should fine people who commit the laws about the rights of animals, so they will be aware of what they have done in the surroundings. Another solution that could solve the problems effectively is that educating people about the importance of conserving animal species. In conclusion, there are various measures that could be taken to tackle the issue, and I believe that protecting animal species are an essential action to help our lives.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of extinction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of natural habitats which
is caused
by deforestation, illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
and an increase in word population. I would argue that protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary and there are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "severals"?
several
that could
be taken
to resolve the issue.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why conserving species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Firstly
, deforestation, urban development and illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
are contributing factors that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
wildlife habitats and the Earth’s ecosystems might be imbalance if there were a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of species.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
could not continue to maintain the biodiversity of the planet where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
forests and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
illegally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precious kinds of birds, there would be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of these types of birds lead to the extinction of other species, since these birds are food sources.

In my view, there are several solutions to tackle the issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above. One solution that could
be taken
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
is that the authorities should introduce new laws which ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
illegally
and destroying the forests.
Besides
, natural areas and wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be protected
by conserving with the invested money from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and businesses. Fining is
also
an effective way to solve the problems, police should fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who commit the laws about the rights of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will be aware of what they have done in the surroundings. Another solution that could solve the problems
effectively
is that educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the importance of conserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species.

In conclusion
, there are various measures that could
be taken
to tackle the issue, and I believe that protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species are an essential action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay IELTS Writing Task 2 IELTS Essay The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems What are those problems In order to redu v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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