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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 v.4

The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007.
Some countries have been welcoming international students and skilled workers due to the long history of apprenticeship training, giving them the ability to work and train for new fields and granting long-time working permit. Respond to the call, many people tend to move aboard to study and work in those countries. However, there are always challenges and key factors, such as learning the native language, for adapting to the new society. On the one hand, most international students and skilled workers spoke a language other than the native language of the country they desire to come as well as brought cultural traditions and customs that set them apart from the bulk of those who were already here. With the growth of multilingual resources, learning native language is less of a necessity. For instance, some find they can get along without learning the native language by making use of their immigrant communities. Though, such resources can sometimes be a hurdle, since people don't often make huge investments of time, effort and energy to adapt to their new life. On the other hand, some people believe new comers a being at least somewhat educated or be prepared to be live aboard, and then they should use the native language without any problem. People who eventually become fluent feel they had no choice, so they practiced and used the language in real-life settings every day. For example, to improve their studying and job prospects, they have often taken the community school or the college courses by native language to speed up their learning. In conclusion, I believe all new immigrants should learn the native language. Learning how to speak and write the native language helps us not only to survive, but to advance as well.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
countries have been welcoming international students and skilled workers due to the long history of apprenticeship training, giving them the ability to work and train for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
fields and granting long-time working permit. Respond to the call,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
aboard to study and work in those countries.
However
, there are always challenges and key factors, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, for adapting to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
society.

On the one hand, most international students and skilled workers spoke a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
other than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
of the country they desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
as well
as brought cultural traditions and customs that set them apart from the bulk of those who were already here. With the growth of multilingual resources,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is less of a necessity.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
find they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
by making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their immigrant communities. Though, such resources can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
be a hurdle, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
huge investments of time, effort and energy to adapt to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
life.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
Did you mean "newcomers"?
new comers
a being at least somewhat educated or
be prepared
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
aboard, and then they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
without any problem.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
eventually
become fluent feel they had no choice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they practiced and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in real-life settings every day.
For example
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their studying and job prospects, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
taken the community school or the college courses by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
speed up
their learning.

In conclusion
, I believe all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
immigrants should learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
how to speak and write the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to survive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to advance
as well
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart shows British Emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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