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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting v.31

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
At present, parents are protesting against playing video games and watching varieties of TV shows which brought tension since it is responsible for roughness among young children. This essay will discuss the main cause of this issue, including the brutality is represented in these entertaining facilities. This essay will also suggest a solution to this problem, including making restrictions from both parent side and the government side. On the one hand, the majority of games, TV programmes, and media such as Facebook, YouTube contain higher level of violence. In this technological era, companies are making new computer and mobile games which include gun fighting and karate. However, this ultimately not only teaches them how to make conflict with each other, but also provides them information of weapons. As a result, when they get involved in unusual situations with other children they use this skill which resulted in malady. Recently a survey result has shown that, people who play this kind of games are more aggressive than who do not play. Moreover, there are many TV shows that have influenced young people addicting to a range of bad habits, namely, smoking as they are naturally imitative. One such Indian TV series is, web series, the series holds many activities, for instance, drinking alcohol and throwing pool parties and this certainly manipulate youth. On the other hand, the government, besides, the parents can help to solve this headache. If the authority proposes legislations against industries who create and control these entertainment schemes will reduce the level of ferocities. Apart from that, elderly people should be cautious when youngsters watch TV and play video games. Although, there is an option called parental control which allows people to restrict websites and programs for their children. This will assist parents monitoring the device when they are at work or outside. For example, if someone installs the system on their laptop, it prevents children watching Tv shows and applications which are banned for them. In conclusion, this is a legitimate complaint that modern technology such as Facebook, video games and YouTube have a negative impact on children’s lifestyle. This problem is occurring due to adding contentious works which are particularly demolishing young generation; therefore, it can be solved if both the government and the parents take an action.
At present,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are protesting against playing video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and watching varieties of TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
which brought tension since it is responsible for roughness among young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay will discuss the main cause of this issue, including the brutality
is represented
in these entertaining facilities. This essay will
also
suggest a solution to this problem, including making restrictions from both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
side and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
side.

On the one hand, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, and media such as Facebook, YouTube contain higher level of violence. In this technological era,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are making new computer and mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which include gun fighting and karate.
However
, this
ultimately
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
teaches them how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
conflict with each other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides them information of weapons.
As a result
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in unusual situations with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
which resulted in malady.

Recently a survey result has shown that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who play this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are more aggressive than
Did you mean "whom"?
who
do not play.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that have influenced young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
addicting to a range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits,
namely
, smoking as they are
naturally
imitative. One such Indian TV series is, web series, the series holds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities,
for instance
, drinking alcohol and throwing pool parties and this
certainly
manipulate youth.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to solve this headache. If the authority proposes
Possible spelling mistake found.
legislations
against industries who create and control these entertainment schemes will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the level of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ferocities
. Apart from that, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be cautious when youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV and play video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Although, there is an option called parental control which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to restrict websites and programs for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This will assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
monitoring the device when they are at work or outside.
For example
, if someone installs the system on their laptop, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and applications which
are banned
for them.

In conclusion
, this is a legitimate complaint that modern technology such as Facebook, video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and YouTube have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
lifestyle. This problem is occurring due to adding contentious works which are
particularly
demolishing young generation;
therefore
, it can
be solved
if both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take an action.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
382 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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