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Some people feel they perform better when they have to finish by a strict time. Others feel they do better work if they do not have time pressure. Which best describes you? Explain why. v.1

Some people feel they perform better when they have to finish by a strict time. Others feel they do better work if they do not have time pressure. Which best describes you? Explain why. v. 1
In society, a number of countries have provided studies in a foreign language in primary schools. It is argued that acquiring a second language is beneficial at an early age, while some believe that it may have some drawbacks. In my opinion, I think that learning another language can benefit the students in the future. On the one hand, it is beneficial for a child to learn a new dialect at a young age because their ability to gain additional knowledge at this milestone will be at its peak. Children will be able to pick up a different language faster. Furthermore, acquiring this new skill can enable them to communicate with people from other countries and learn their culture. Therefore, it can benefit in their future career to have an adequate communication skill. Asians would be an excellent example of this, where primary schools have incorporated English classes to the community, and allowing them to not only work and study overseas but they can communicate fluently with foreigners. On the other hand, learning a new language at a young age, however, can lead to an alteration of their mother tongue. In other words, it can cause children to become confused with the different languages. This is clearly evident that in a majority of American born Chinese, where they studied English at school, whilst learning Chinese at home. Most of these people lose their mother tongue, where some people can only listen but cannot speak. Also, grammar and pronunciation would be inaccurate because it is different in every culture. In conclusion, in spite of the drawbacks resulting in a confusion in both languages, I believe it is more advantageous to have foreign language education in primary, where it can play a pivotal role in building a well-developed communication skill for the future.
In society, a number of countries have provided studies in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in primary schools. It
is argued
that acquiring a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is beneficial at an early age, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that it may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that learning another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
can benefit the students in the future.

On the one hand, it is beneficial for a child to learn a new dialect at a young age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their ability to gain additional knowledge at this milestone will be at its peak. Children will be able to pick up a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
faster.
Furthermore
, acquiring this new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
can enable them to communicate with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from other countries and learn their culture.
Therefore
, it can benefit in their future career to have an adequate communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. Asians would be an excellent example of this, where primary schools have incorporated English classes to the community, and allowing them to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
work and study overseas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can communicate
fluently
with foreigners.

On the other hand
, learning a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at a young age,
however
, can lead to an alteration of their mother tongue.
In other words
, it can cause children to become confused with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. This is
clearly
evident that in a majority of American born Chinese, where they studied English at school, whilst learning Chinese at home. Most of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lose their mother tongue, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
listen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cannot speak.
Also
, grammar and pronunciation would be inaccurate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in every culture.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the drawbacks resulting in a confusion in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, I believe it is more advantageous to have foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
education in primary, where it can play a pivotal role in building a well-developed communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
for the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel they perform better when they have to finish by a strict time. Others feel they do better work if they do not have time pressure. Which best describes you? Explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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