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you only stop worrying when you have a lot of it

you only stop worrying when you have a lot of it GwA9j
Money is one of the most important things today because we need money to survive. Some people believe that “you only stop worrying about money when you have a lot. ” In my opinion, this point is quite true in some cases, but not at all. On the one hand, everything in our lives needs money. When you have a lot of money, your life is so easy and you don’t need to worry about daily living expenses. Furthermore, because you are not required to work all day, you have more time to spend with your family, friends, and hobbies. For example, if you love traveling, you can go anywhere you want. In addition, your family’s life can be improved, and your children will receive the best education possible. However, if you are poor, you will work hard in order to pay for life On the other hand, when you have a lot of money, becoming a rich person is not as fun as people think. They have few friends, so they become very lonely. They always have to think first before doing anything. And they need to maintain their reputation and image in order to maintain their jobs and money. Moreover, they always have the fear of being stolen, lost or even attacked because of their wealth. It’s hard to be happy and mentally healthy by worrying so much. In my opinion, I want to live a happy and fulfilling life. Then I won’t have to work hard all day, so I will still have some time for my family and my friends. Everyday, I can be free to do what I like without thinking too much.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to survive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that “you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
worrying about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
when you have a lot. ” In my opinion, this point is quite true in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not at all.

On the one hand, everything in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. When you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, your life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy and you don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to worry about daily living expenses.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you are not required to work all day, you have more time to spend with your family, friends, and hobbies.
For example
, if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
traveling, you can go anywhere you want.
In addition
, your family’s life can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, and your children will receive the best education possible.
However
, if you are poor, you will work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in order to pay for life

On the other hand
, when you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, becoming a rich person is not as fun as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
. They have few friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lonely. They always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
doing anything. And they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to maintain their reputation and image in order to maintain their jobs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Moreover
, they always have the fear of
being stolen
, lost or even attacked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their wealth. It’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to be happy and mentally healthy by worrying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much.

In my opinion, I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a happy and fulfilling life. Then I won’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
all day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I will
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time for my family and my friends.
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
Everyday
, I can be free to do what I like without thinking too much.
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IELTS essay you only stop worrying when you have a lot of it

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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