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You have recently started working for a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter: - Explain the reasons why you changed jobs. - Describe your new job. - Tell him/her your other news. v.1

You have recently started working for a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter: - Explain the reasons why you changed jobs. - Describe your new job. - Tell him/her your other news. v. 1
Hey Diego, I'm sorry I haven't been in touch for such a long time. I hope you and your family are well. I recently switched jobs after a 5-year experience working overseas. My main motivation to go for this new role was that part of me wanted my family to spend more time with our relatives in Colombia. In addition to this, the new conditions at the job are favourable and lucrative, which is why these provide us with a nice income to start new projects back in our homeland. An interesting feature about this role is that I will now be part of the board of directors. This new responsibility will allow me to trial my leadership skills. Moreover, the team I will be leading, includes a fair amount of the staff at remote locations, thus I will be travelling for at least 50% of the time. A nice location to visit every quarter will be Paris, our headquarters are located in France. On other news, I wanted to let you know that me and my family are planning a visit to your hometown next month. Are you going to be around on the weekend? We can get together with the wife and kids, they still remember those days growing up with them. I also wanted to share some exciting news with you: we are expecting our third blessing next summer! Give my regards to Katherine and the young ones, I hope to hear from you soon. All the best, Rafa
Hey Diego,

I'm sorry I haven't been in touch for such a long time. I hope you and your family are well.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
recently switched jobs after a 5-year experience working overseas. My main motivation to go for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
role was that part of me wanted my family to spend more time with our relatives in Colombia.
In addition
to this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
conditions
In English, people don't say "at the job". They say, 'on the job' or 'at work'. Did you mean "on the job" or "at work"?
at the job
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
and lucrative, which is why these provide us with a nice income to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
projects back in our homeland.

An interesting feature about this role is that I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be part of the board of directors. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
responsibility will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to trial my leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Moreover
, the team I will be leading, includes a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
amount of the staff at remote locations,
thus
I will be travelling for at least 50% of the time. A nice location to visit every quarter will be Paris, our headquarters
are located
in France.

On other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, I wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know that me and my family are planning a visit to your hometown
next
month. Are you going to be around on the weekend? We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together with the wife and kids, they
still
remember those days growing up with them. I
also
wanted to share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exciting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
with you: we are expecting our third blessing
next
summer!

Give my regards to Katherine and the young ones, I hope to hear from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

All the best,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Rafa
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay You have recently started working for a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter: - Explain the reasons why you changed jobs. - Describe your new job. - Tell him/her your other news. v. 1

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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