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you have just read an article in an international travel magazine

you have just read an article in an international travel magazine LwaD6
I would like to draw your attention to an article published in the magazine “the traveller” dated 1st July 2021. First, an article that mentioned about Sigiriya included inaccurate information. To explain it, the sigiriya is my hometown and it has old ruin castle and famous frescos. However, in that particular section it has given it has a bird sanctuary park nearby. Therefore, I can confirmly say this is a wrong information and there is no any sanctuary park. Subsequently, this magazine is an international and prominent in the people who are interested in tourism. If we publish the wrong details, the tourist people will have a wrong impression. Apart from that, inaccurate data will circulate among the readers such as tourists and students too. Therefore, please take it to your attention that you need to do some research before publishing the article in the magazine. Furthermore, please be kind enough to edit that paragraph immediately and replace the correct information. If you can publish it on your next edition that will be a enormous service.
I would like to draw your attention to an article published in the magazine “the
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
” dated 1st July 2021.

First
, an article that
Did you mean simply "mentioned Sigiriya"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mentioned about Sigiriya
included inaccurate information. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it,

the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sigiriya
is my hometown and it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ruin castle and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "frescoes", the plural form of the noun 'fresco'?
frescos
.
However
, in that particular section it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
it has a bird sanctuary park nearby.
Therefore
, I can
Possible spelling mistake found.
confirmly
say this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
information and there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any sanctuary park.

Subsequently
, this magazine is an international and prominent in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are interested
in tourism. If we publish the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the tourist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
impression. Apart from that, inaccurate data will circulate among the readers such as tourists and students too.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
take it to your attention that you need to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
publishing the article in the magazine.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
be kind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to edit that paragraph immediately and replace the correct information.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
you can publish it on your
next
edition that will be
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
enormous service.
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IELTS essay you have just read an article in an international travel magazine

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
176 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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