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Many people move to another country for work abroad advantage outweigh disadvantages

Many people move to another country for work abroad advantage outweigh disadvantages 5bQxn
It has been considered by some individuals that people moves to other country for employment along with their family members. This essay intends to elaborate reasons why merits of leave country for work abroad with family outnumber it's demerits in upcoming paragraph. Regarding pros, there are multifarious benefits to migrate other country with family. Firstly, people have strong bond with their family members. They can share their problems with their family. Moreover, some times long distance relation create many problems. For illustration, a survey conducted by BBC News revealed that 70%divorces because of long distance relationship. They cannot spend much time with each other. Probing further, some students move to abroad for studies. So it is easy for children to take their family with them so they can take care of their offspring. However numerous people migrate to abroad for better lifestyle and economic conditions so they also want to improve their family life. On the flip side, there are some drawback to moving other nations with family. To begin with, it is very difficult for person to maintain their expenses. For example, if person move alone to foreign they have to pay rent for himself but if they go with their family members they have to buy a house. Moreover, sometime parents do not adjust with different culture they get cultural shock and face many issue. To conclude, it can be analysed from above discussion that although there are abudent of benefits of migrate to other country with family. its drawback cannot be overlooked.
It has
been considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
moves
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for employment along with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. This essay intends to elaborate reasons why merits of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for work abroad with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
outnumber
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
demerits in upcoming paragraph. Regarding pros, there are multifarious benefits to migrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have strong bond with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. They can share their problems with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times long distance relation create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems. For illustration, a survey conducted by BBC News revealed that 70%divorces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of long distance relationship. They cannot spend much time with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Probing
further
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to abroad for studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is easy for children to take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can take care of their offspring.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrate to abroad for better lifestyle and economic conditions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
also
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life. On the flip side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawback to moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for person to maintain their expenses.
For example
, if person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
alone to foreign they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay rent for himself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Moreover
, sometime parents do not adjust with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
cultural shock and face
Possible agreement error. The noun issue seems to be countable; consider using: "many issues".
many issue
.
To conclude
, it can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
from above discussion that although there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
abudent
of benefits of migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
its
drawback cannot
be overlooked
.
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IELTS essay Many people move to another country for work abroad advantage outweigh disadvantages

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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