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You have just read an artice in an international travel magazine which containedsome information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your letter-Correct the information in the article-explain why it is import v.1

You have just read an artice in an international travel magazine which containedsome information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your letter-Correct the information in the article-explain why it is import v. 1
In some countries, paying incredible salaries to few workers have become a debatable topic. Some believe that it is beneficial for a country’s economy while others think that the government should limit the process of salary distribution. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and provide evidence for why higher wages should be given to employees. To begin with, some people think that by restricting large sum of money to workers would help to curb the problem of huge income disparity, as it has created inequality and differences in the society. In addition, individuals who have low income feel disheartened and inferior. Also that there’s a possibility that such individual can undergo depression. To cite an example, some researchers have found that there exist a proportional relationship between socioeconomic status and mental illness. On the other hand, a growing number of people, including me hold the perspective that higher salaries helps to entice highly talented and skilful people in the country which in a way helps the homeland to prosper. Higher wages also exhibits a high level of tax, which are paid by people and the money remains in the state and allows the nation’s economy to boost. For instance, people in the medical profession are paid handsome financial rewards which deters them to leave their birthplace and motivate several other individuals to work hard for their homeland’s prosperity. To conclude, this essay has argued why few individuals in a country should be paid heavily. I think it will inspire other individuals to struggle hard and will help the country to flourish.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, paying incredible salaries
Did you mean "too"?
to
few workers have become a debatable topic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that it is beneficial for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should limit the process of salary distribution. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and provide evidence for why higher wages should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to employees.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that by restricting large sum of money to workers would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to curb the problem of huge income disparity, as it has created inequality and differences in the society.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who have low income feel disheartened and inferior.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
that there’s a possibility that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can undergo depression. To cite an example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researchers have found that there exist a proportional relationship between socioeconomic status and mental illness.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, including me hold the perspective that higher salaries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to entice
highly
talented and
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which in a way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the homeland to prosper. Higher wages
also
exhibits a high level of tax, which
are paid
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the money remains in the state and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the nation’s economy to boost.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the medical profession
are paid
handsome financial rewards which deters them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their birthplace and motivate several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for their homeland’s prosperity.

To conclude
, this essay has argued why few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should
be paid
heavily
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will inspire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to struggle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to flourish.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You have just read an artice in an international travel magazine which containedsome information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your letter-Correct the information in the article-explain why it is import v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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