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You have a complaint about the hotel you stayed at while attending a seminar in a foreign country. Write a letter to the seminar organiser and say– What problem did you face there? – Why do you want to complain about it? – What is your suggestion for v.1

You have a complaint about the hotel you stayed at while attending a seminar in a foreign country. Write a letter to the seminar organiser and say– What problem did you face there? – Why do you want to complain about it? – What is your suggestion for v. 1
Some parents are concerned regarding children's exposure to violent content in TV shows, electronic games among other kinds of entertainment. Exposing the youth to such subject can affect how they perceive their actions and its consequences. I think a possible solution is making parents aware about the media age rating system. First of all, until eighteen years old the human brain still in development and it is quite sensible to external inputs. Thus, until that old it is important avoiding contact with mature content, since an individual might get disturbed and willing to reproduce in real life what he or she has seen on the media. For instance, if a child is used to play a video game which he or she drive over people on the streets, this child might want to do the same in real life. Consequently, it is a matter of risking not only the teen's safety, but also the safety of others surrounding the youth. So, a possible solution is bringing awareness to the parents about the age rating system of the media being consumed. Hence, the parents can evaluate based on this criteria if the media subject is suitable for the kid's age. For example, some video games are not suitable for children under sixteen years old, but with no restrictions for children above that old. Therefore, if the age rating system is respected and well understand by the adults the risk of exposing children to unsuitable subject is mitigated. In conclusion, the main downside of exposing a teenager to mature content is disturbing its perception of reality; consequently, risking the safety of both the teenager and the others around. Then, I believe a possible solution is bringing information to parents about age rating system for better controlling their children access to entertainment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are concerned
regarding children's exposure to violent content in TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, electronic games among other kinds of entertainment. Exposing the youth to such subject can affect how they perceive their actions and its consequences. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a possible solution is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
aware about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rating
system.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, until eighteen years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
the human brain
still
in development and it is quite sensible to external inputs.
Thus
, until that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
avoiding contact with mature content, since an individual might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
disturbed and willing to reproduce in real life what he or she has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
For instance
, if a child is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to play a video game which he or she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "drives", "drove".
drive
over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on the streets, this child might want to do the same in real life.
Consequently
, it is a matter of risking not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the teen's safety,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the safety of others surrounding the youth.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, a possible solution is bringing awareness to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rating
system of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
being consumed
.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can evaluate based on
Did you mean "these"?
this
criteria if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
subject is suitable for the kid's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
video games are not suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under sixteen years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with no restrictions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
above that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
.
Therefore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rating
system
is respected
and well understand by the adults the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of exposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to unsuitable subject
is mitigated
.

In conclusion
, the main downside of exposing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
to mature content is disturbing its perception of reality;
consequently
, risking the safety of both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
and the others around. Then, I believe a possible solution is bringing information to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rating
system for better controlling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
access to entertainment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You have a complaint about the hotel you stayed at while attending a seminar in a foreign country. Write a letter to the seminar organiser and say– What problem did you face there? – Why do you want to complain about it? – What is your suggestion for v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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