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You celebrated your birthday with some friends last week in a restaurant. It was a great success and you and your friends enjoyed the evening very much. Write a letter to the restaurant to thank them. Mention the food, service and the atmosphere. Also sugg v.1

You celebrated your birthday with some friends last week in a restaurant. It was a great success and you and your friends enjoyed the evening very much. Write a letter to the restaurant to thank them. Mention the food, service and the atmosphere. Also sugg v. 1
In this expeditiously transforming era, mobile phone has secured a tremendously pertinent position in our daily lives. Some people believe that this is an optimistic change while others consider it to be a pessimistic shift. I support the argument which considers it to be a positive one and would accentuate the same. To embark on the outlook which supports the argument, I consider that mobile phones have brought great convenience for all of us. Today, we are able to do a maximum of our daily routine work, which took a lot of time earlier, on a single swipe, like ordering vegetables, booking a cab and a lot more. Above all, I contemplate, communication as the biggest advantage, as it helps us to stay in contact with our loved ones anytime and anywhere. To illustrate the issue of constant contact, girls travelling alone feel safer with mobile phones since they can reach out to their loved ones in case of emergency. To elucidate the compelling argument, I reckon that millennials today are extremely involved in their phones and as a result, they have lost the emotional connect with their surroundings. Apart from this, the proliferated use has made them sleep deprived as they keep exploring their device ceaselessly. Moreover, we observe an elevated number of accidents taking place as a result of negligence while using a mobile phone. For example, the contemporary trend of making dangerous and risky tik-tok videos which have become a reason of death for a lot of teenagers. To summarize this, I would say that excess of anything is malicious. Mobile phone, a two-edged sword, has advantages as well as disadvantages attached to it. On one hand it helps us to stay connected while on the other hand it might turn into a hideous monster if we dive too deep into its illusion of glory. Hence, considering all the aspects, I believe that advantages surely dominate the negative side.
In this
expeditiously
transforming era, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has secured a
tremendously
pertinent position in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that this is an optimistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
while others consider it to be a pessimistic shift. I support the argument which considers it to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one and would accentuate the same.

To embark on the outlook which supports the argument, I consider that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have brought great convenience for all of us.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, we are able to do a maximum of our daily routine work, which took
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time earlier, on a single swipe, like ordering vegetables, booking a cab and a lot more.
Above all
, I contemplate, communication as the biggest advantage, as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to stay in contact with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
anytime and anywhere. To illustrate the issue of constant contact, girls travelling alone feel safer with mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
since they can reach out to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in case of emergency.

To elucidate the compelling argument, I reckon that millennials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are
extremely
involved in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and
as a result
, they have lost the emotional connect with their surroundings. Apart from this, the proliferated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
has made them sleep deprived as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
exploring their device
ceaselessly
.
Moreover
, we observe an elevated number of accidents taking place
as a result
of negligence while using a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
For example
, the contemporary trend of making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and risky
Possible spelling mistake found.
tik-tok
videos which have become a reason of death for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

To summarize
this, I would say that excess of anything is malicious. Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, a two-edged sword, has advantages
as well
as disadvantages attached to it. On one hand it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to stay connected while
on the other hand
it might turn into a hideous monster if we dive too deep into its illusion of glory.
Hence
, considering all the aspects, I believe that advantages
surely
dominate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You celebrated your birthday with some friends last week in a restaurant. It was a great success and you and your friends enjoyed the evening very much. Write a letter to the restaurant to thank them. Mention the food, service and the atmosphere. Also sugg v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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