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You are working for acompany. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letterExplain why you want to take time off workGive details of the amount of time you needSuggest how your v.1

You are working for acompany. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letterExplain why you want to take time off workGive details of the amount of time you needSuggest how your v. 1
Undoubtedly, there is a wide range of salaries in some nations nowadays. It is believed by some people that high earnings are beneficial for a country. At the same time, others think that the government should regulate how much one can earn. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and my opinion about a great amount of incomes will have a positive effect on development. On the one hand, salaries act as a reward or incentive which incites employee to work harder. For instance, in the USA companies come with different strategies to encourage the employees such as the naming of a worker of the month, reward for overwork are cited as a key example of boosting the confidence of employees. Moreover, workers will get a sense of satisfaction that their effort is valued by the organisation, therefore it strives them to do better which benefits the association. On the other hand, government should ensure that the country's wealth is being evenly distributed. Limiting salaries will mean that the authority will have more funds to improve public infrastructure, which will aid all people in society. Furthermore, it can be disheartening for some to receive a low salary without much justification. So, controlling incomes will bring more equality. For example, in 19th century USSR had this politics and all people had equal amount of money for their effort. In my opinion, high salary is a sign of a country's wealth. This is because money always circulates within the country and keep changing hands. The more money in circulation, the more prosperous Moreover, a high income means more taxes which effects on developing. For instance, in the world most developed countries the highest amount of salaries. In conclusion, regulating the salaries is not the solution for income disparity. It is a key strategy for a country for further developing.
Undoubtedly
, there is a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations nowadays. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that high earnings are beneficial for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. At the same time, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should regulate how much one can earn. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and my opinion about a great amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on development.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
act as a reward or incentive which incites employee to work harder.
For instance
, in the USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
strategies to encourage the employees such as the naming of a worker of the month, reward for overwork
are cited
as a key example of boosting the confidence of employees.
Moreover
, workers will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a sense of satisfaction that their effort
is valued
by the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
,
therefore
it strives them to do better which benefits the association.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should ensure that the country's wealth is being
evenly
distributed. Limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
will mean that the authority will have more funds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
public infrastructure, which will aid all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in society.
Furthermore
, it can be disheartening for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to receive a low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
without much justification.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
will bring more equality.
For example
, in 19th century USSR had this politics and all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had equal amount of money for their effort.

In my opinion, high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of a country's wealth. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
money always circulates within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
changing hands. The more money in circulation, the more prosperous
Moreover
, a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
means more taxes which effects on developing.
For instance
, in the world most developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
the highest amount of salaries.

In conclusion
, regulating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
is not the solution for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
disparity. It is a key strategy for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for
further
developing.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay You are working for acompany. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letterExplain why you want to take time off workGive details of the amount of time you needSuggest how your v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
309 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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