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There is a good deal of evidence that increasing car use is contributing to global warming and having other undesirable effects on people's health and well-being. What can be done to discourage people from using their cars? v.1

There is a good deal of evidence that increasing car use is contributing to global warming and having other undesirable effects on people's health and well-being. What can be done to discourage people from using their cars? v. 1
Modern world dictating the rapid development of mobile phones and changing accessibility for the children. Cellular phones by some people are suitable for the children, whether others don't share the same opinion. I will explain the positive and negative view of the phone usage by children. I agree that parents need to allow children to have mobile phones. The first to mention is that rapid technology growth, changing childhood rapidly. Today young humans are most often exposed to mobile phones instead of playing outside, which could reflect on their health in the future. For example, children can use the phone if they need to call adults from school or on the way home if something happened. In my opinion, pros when children using and possess phones on the proper habitude and if they are supervised by their parents. General disagreement that children needs to have a mobile phones contradict with firs group. Furthermore, most of the parents can't control all children's behaviour because they are trying to protect them from different circumstances in what they can be involved. For example, we can see a lot of children how they are using too many social networks. I can gather the decisions to forbid younger children over usage of the phones in wrong purpose, but I disagree with a total ban. In conclusion, technology innovation has an important role for the people, but children need to be controlled by the mobile phone usage. Also, always we can look both sides as positive or negative approach, but my overall opinion supporting children to use phones but must be balanced and controlled by adults.
Modern world dictating the rapid development of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and changing accessibility for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Cellular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are suitable for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, whether others don't share the same opinion. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
view of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
usage by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have mobile phones.

The
first
to mention is that rapid technology growth, changing childhood
rapidly
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
young humans are most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
exposed to mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
instead
of playing outside, which could reflect on their health in the future.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to call adults from school or on the way home if something happened. In my opinion, pros when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
using and possess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
on the proper
Possible spelling mistake found.
habitude
and if they
are supervised
by their parents.

General disagreement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to have a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
contradict with firs group.
Furthermore
, most of the parents can't control all children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are trying to protect them from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
circumstances in what they can
be involved
.
For example
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how they are using too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social networks. I can gather the decisions to forbid younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
over usage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
purpose,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I disagree with a total ban.

In conclusion
, technology innovation has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be controlled
by the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
usage.
Also
, always we can look both sides as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
approach,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my
overall
opinion supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be balanced
and controlled by adults.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay There is a good deal of evidence that increasing car use is contributing to global warming and having other undesirable effects on people's health and well-being. What can be done to discourage people from using their cars? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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