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You are unable to complete your Couse - You have discontinued it, Write a letter to your teacher to thank him and explain - Why have you continued it? What are your reasons for thanking him/her? v.1

You are unable to complete your Couse - You have discontinued it, Write a letter to your teacher to thank him and explain - Why have you continued it? What are your reasons for thanking him/her? v. 1
Some people believe that people displaced from their native countries should be accepted by rich countries and be provided with food and adequate living places. I agree with this opinion, as the wealthy countries have the capability to deal with refugees and these people can be productive members of society. The economically stable countries ought to accept the refugees who have left their countries due to the tense political situation or starvation, perhaps as a moral obligation. In other words, it is fairly understandable that people do not leave their native country unless they were compelled to do so. In such adverse situation, if the host countries do not open their doors for the displaced people it may have disastrous consequences like massive genocide. For example, this happened in the recent past when Rohingya Muslims were being killed in massive number in their country, neighbouring countries banned their entrance which resulted in the killing of millions of people. Hence, for the sake of humanity, these people should be accepted and provided with food and shelter in rich countries. Another aspect which should be considered by the host countries, when the refugees flee towards them is that they will probably get manpower which will be available in the form of cheap labour. Local people and the government can utilise this cheap labour for themselves. Furthermore, we witness very educated people amongst these refugees who can effectively contribute towards the economic development of a country. For instance, amongst thousands of Hazara nation who migrated to Australia in last five years, many of the migrants are doctors and engineers who were effectively utilised by the Australian government thus their becoming productive members of society. In conclusion, if rich and prosperous countries accept the migrants they should take care of them, provide them with food and living, once stabilised can be productive members of society. -
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
displaced from their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
be provided
with food and adequate living places. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion, as the wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have the capability to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be productive members of society.

The
economically
stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
ought to accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due to the tense political situation or starvation, perhaps as a moral obligation.
In other words
, it is
fairly
understandable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
unless they
were compelled
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. In such adverse situation, if the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not open their doors for the displaced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it may have disastrous
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "like". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences like
massive genocide.
For example
, this happened in the recent past when Rohingya Muslims were
being killed
in massive number in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
banned their entrance which resulted in the killing of millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Hence
, for the sake of humanity, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
and provided with food and shelter in rich countries.

Another aspect which should
be considered
by the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
flee towards them is that they will
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
manpower which will be available in the form of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
. Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
for themselves.
Furthermore
, we witness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
amongst these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can
effectively
contribute towards the economic development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, amongst thousands of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hazara
nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
migrated to Australia in last five years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the migrants are doctors and engineers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were
effectively
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
by the Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
thus
their becoming productive members of society.

In conclusion
, if rich and prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
accept the migrants they should take care of them, provide them with food and living, once
Possible spelling mistake. 'stabilised' is British English.
stabilised
can be productive members of society.

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay You are unable to complete your Couse - You have discontinued it, Write a letter to your teacher to thank him and explain - Why have you continued it? What are your reasons for thanking him/her? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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