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You are currently trying to improve your knowledge of a language which is not your originallanguage. You have a friend who speaks this new language perfectly. Write to your friend, Explaining why you want to learn this new languageAsking him/her for sugges v.1

You are currently trying to improve your knowledge of a language which is not your originallanguage. You have a friend who speaks this new language perfectly. Write to your friend, Explaining why you want to learn this new languageAsking him/her for sugges v. 1
People have different opinion about the young age and adulthood. Some folks believe that teenage is the best period of one’s life while others consider adult life to be the most beautiful part of the life. In my opinion, I believe both the period bless people with happiness and joy. On one hand, some critics believe teenage years to be the happiest and joyful period. During this age, people enjoy quality time with their peers and families without having the burden of making the ends meet. For example, school going children enjoy playing games without having the stress of earning money. In addition to this, young people learn many things and develop various skills which results in their holistic development. Therefore, teenage is the best phase of one’s life. On the other hand, people become financially independent once they get mature. This satisfaction of becoming economically sound makes the adult life cheerful. Even a study of economic times has proved that economically independent people are the happiest people around the globe. Furthermore, the grown up people can experience a wide variety of events such as becoming a husband or father. Hence, they can enjoy life to the fullest possible extent. Thus, adulthood is considered to be the blissful period of life. In conclusion, I assert that both the phases of life are unique and hold their own importance. While it is the lack of responsibilities that make life joyous during adolescence, becoming financially strong and multiplying relationships make adult life more beautiful. Thus, it is up to each individual to decide which period was happiest in their life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion about the young age and adulthood.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
folks believe that teenage is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
while others consider adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to be the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In my opinion, I believe both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
bless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with happiness and joy.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critics believe teenage years to be the happiest and joyful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. During this age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy quality time with their peers and families without having the burden of making the ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
For example
, school going children enjoy playing games without having the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of earning money.
In addition
to this, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things and develop various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which results in their holistic development.
Therefore
, teenage is the best phase of one’s life.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become
financially
independent once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
mature. This satisfaction of becoming
economically
sound
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
cheerful. Even a study of economic times has proved that
economically
independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the happiest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe.
Furthermore
, the grown up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can experience a wide variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as becoming a husband or father.
Hence
, they can enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to the fullest possible extent.
Thus
, adulthood
is considered
to be the blissful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of life.

In conclusion
, I assert that both the phases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are unique and hold their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance. While it is the lack of responsibilities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
joyous during adolescence, becoming
financially
strong and multiplying relationships
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
.
Thus
, it is up to each individual to decide which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
was happiest in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You are currently trying to improve your knowledge of a language which is not your originallanguage. You have a friend who speaks this new language perfectly. Write to your friend, Explaining why you want to learn this new languageAsking him/her for sugges v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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