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yiu know idk what i think temporatrila health thingy age dead stuff

yiu know idk what i think temporatrila health thingy age dead stuff NljnN
In the temporary society, humanity is getting more and more modern and with this people are finding ways to be healthier and possibly live longer. As the result, life expectancy is rising all around the globe. At first glance, this might sound like a good thing, but it would bring many negative effects as well. On one hand, there are a number of reasons why increasing life expectancy is beneficial. Firstly, old people have lived long enough, have went through many ups and down. Accumulating life-long wisdom that they could pass down to younger generations, giving the new generation advice on what they should and shouldn’t do. Secondly, as people gets old they begin to enjoy life more, after all the hard-work and money they have made in the prime of their life, old people often use the last years of their life and lifesaving for family and friends. They want to spend their last years with close ones, creating as much memories as they can, maybe even try some new hobbies or travel around the world.
In the temporary society, humanity is getting more and more modern and with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are finding ways to be healthier and
possibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer. As the result,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy is rising all around the globe. At
first
glance, this might sound like a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it would bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects
as well
.

On one hand, there are a number of reasons why increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy is beneficial.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, have
Use past participle here: "gone".
went
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ups and down. Accumulating life-long wisdom that they could pass down to younger generations, giving the new generation advice on what they should and shouldn’t do.

Secondly
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more,
after all
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-work and money they have made in the prime of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the last years of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and lifesaving for family and friends. They want to spend their last years with close ones, creating as
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
memories as they can, maybe even try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new hobbies or travel around the world.
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IELTS essay yiu know idk what i think temporatrila health thingy age dead stuff

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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