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Writing to discuss an opinion about leisure activities

Writing to discuss an opinion about leisure activities mX7Mn
From my point of view, playing sports is the good leisure activities for everyone because its help us a lot of things. Firstly, we can have a healthy body when we play sport. Secondly, we can play some easy sports such as football, basketball and after that we can relax after a tired day. In addition, we can make more friends who have the same hobby as us so we can improve our communications skills by talking to teammates. In short,
From my point of view, playing sports is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
leisure activities for everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things.
Firstly
, we can have a healthy body when we play sport.
Secondly
, we can play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
easy sports such as football, basketball and after that we can relax after a tired day.
In addition
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more friends who have the same hobby as us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our communications
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by talking to teammates. In short,
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IELTS essay Writing to discuss an opinion about leisure activities

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
81 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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