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declining quality of air and water in both industry and construction

declining quality of air and water in both industry and construction Wq7X0
It is frequently argued that one of the major issues in health care is the low quality of air and water which has been ignored by industries all over the world. The main reason for this is that there are plenty of garbage in water and even toxic fumes in the air. The viable solution is to make it clear for people. As in the contemporary world, the number of garbage has been peaked remarkably, this has become one of the major problems which needs to be considered immediately. By growing up the number of factories day by day, the percentage of entering toxins in the air, has increased as well. Or another obvious example is the rise in using cars by people and not choosing public transport over that. Thus, this can lead to the contaminated air specially in large cities. Another problem is related to the water that citizens need for their lives. The numerous industries and construction this vital liquid to be clean and they pour so many toxic substances in water. Endangering the life of aquatic is its consequence. Thus, generally all of this needs to stop. Above other solutions, the most necessary thing is that, people needs to be informed at first. And we all know that nowadays informing has become quite easier via social medias or even on TV. So, firstly, government should make an numbers of helpful advertisements which shows how much a polluted water and air can affect on human being's lives and future generations. Secondly, accomplishing some rules and cash fines can prevent people from throwing out their garbage in the nature or waters. To conclude, this problem is growing really fast and some rules should be set steadily in order to prevent air and water got contaminated.
It is
frequently
argued that one of the major issues in health care is the low quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
which has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
by industries all over the world. The main reason for this is that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of garbage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and even toxic fumes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
. The viable solution is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As in the contemporary world, the number of garbage has
been peaked
remarkably
, this has become one of the major problems which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be considered
immediately. By growing up the number of factories day by day, the percentage of entering toxins in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
, has increased
as well
. Or another obvious example is the rise in using cars by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and not choosing public transport over that.
Thus
, this can lead to the contaminated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
specially
in large cities. Another problem
is related
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
that citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The numerous industries and construction this vital liquid to be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
clean and
they pour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
toxic substances in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Endangering the life of aquatic is its consequence.
Thus
,
generally
all of
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
. Above other solutions, the most necessary thing is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
needs
to
be informed
at
first
. And we all know that nowadays informing has become quite easier via social medias or even on TV.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an number" or simply "numbers"?
an numbers
of helpful advertisements which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how much a polluted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
can
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on human being's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and future generations.
Secondly
, accomplishing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and cash fines can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from throwing out their garbage in the nature or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waters
.
To conclude
, this problem is growing
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
should
be set
steadily
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
contaminated.
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IELTS essay declining quality of air and water in both industry and construction

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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