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Writing task on “Combat sports should be banned”. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Writing task on “Combat sports should be banned”. a8lPV
Combat sports is very familiar throughout the world with different names such as Wrestling, Martial Arts, Boxing, Kickboxing, Judo and Kung Fu. This is a brutal fighting sport and sometimes has been fatal for human lives. Because of these reasons I think government should be restricted these sports. Though it has a great influence on passionate people and entertainment industries but spreads violence within the society. There is also a long-term effect on fighter health and psychology. Although, it has a highly paid profession but have a potential risk for permanent damage of body parts. People who have involved in these combat fighting could be heavily injured even died in some cases. Because they are hitting each other for disabling or applying such a technique that one can unable to continue the game. There are few examples to die people within the ring. For these reasons, people need to avoid this frightening occupation. Similarly, a chronic injuries and mental problem occurred within the people those who are fighting in a combat sport. The eye and brain injuries are most common because of the continuous punching in head and people severely suffer from those problems in later life. In fact, there is a few boxers who are not faced these trauma and mental sickness. As a result, their health and safety are always in risks. Therefore, I think government should prohibit combat fighting for avoiding violence and health hazards. Also, it is necessary to take the initiative for victims of combat fighting for their better life.
Combat
sports
is
very
familiar throughout the world with
different
names such as Wrestling, Martial Arts, Boxing, Kickboxing, Judo and
Kung
Fu
. This is a brutal fighting
sport
and
sometimes
has been fatal for human
lives
.
Because
of these reasons I
think
government
should
be restricted
these
sports
. Though it has a great influence on passionate
people
and entertainment industries
but
spreads violence within the society. There is
also
a long-term effect on fighter health and psychology.

Although, it has a
highly
paid profession
but
have a potential
risk
for permanent
damage of
body parts.
People
who have involved in these
combat
fighting could be
heavily
injured even
died
in
some
cases.
Because
they are hitting each other for disabling or applying such a technique that one
can unable
to continue the game. There are few examples to
die
people
within the ring. For these reasons,
people
need to avoid this frightening occupation.

Similarly
, a chronic injuries and mental problem occurred within the
people
those who are fighting in a
combat
sport
. The eye and brain injuries are most common
because
of the continuous punching in head and
people
severely
suffer from those problems in later life. In fact, there is a few boxers who are not faced
these trauma
and mental sickness.
As a result
, their health and safety are always in
risks
.

Therefore
, I
think
government
should prohibit
combat
fighting for avoiding violence and health hazards.
Also
, it is necessary to take the initiative for victims of
combat
fighting for their better life.
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IELTS essay Writing task on “Combat sports should be banned”.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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