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Pressure on the school and university students is increasing and students are pushed too hard work when they are young.

Pressure on the school and university students is increasing and students are pushed too hard work when they are young. NWl9m
Nobody would dispute the fact that one of the most conspicuous trends in the 21st century is pressure on the school and university students is increasing and students are forced too hard work when they young. Yet, the issue of whether this development boon or bane for humanity, has become an integral part of contentious never-ending debate among people. It is my opinion that this trend has both positive and negative sides. On the one hand, students are competed among their classmates or groupmates, and parents want their child will be first from others. In other words, students are pushed by parents in order to be superior. Moreover, they gain new knowledge. To put it another words, learn new information through pressure, but might be fruitful for students future. On the other hand, forcing students is bad for their behaviour and become an agressive behaviour. There is no point in denying the fact that it cause a juvenile delinquency and violence. Furthermore, students lose your several abilities such as independently thinking, decision-making and so on. In light above-mentioned facts, one can reach a conclusion that forcing students can be beneficial for gaining new knowledge, however it has detrimental effect on agressive behaviour.
Nobody would dispute the fact that one of the most conspicuous trends in the 21st century is pressure on the school and university
students
is increasing and
students
are forced
too
hard
work when they young.
Yet
, the issue of whether this development boon or bane for humanity, has become an integral part of contentious never-ending debate among
people
. It is my opinion that this trend has both
positive
and
negative
sides.

On the one hand,
students
are competed
among their classmates or
groupmates
, and parents want their child will be
first
from others.
In other words
,
students
are pushed
by parents in order to be superior.
Moreover
, they gain new knowledge. To put it
another words
, learn new information through pressure,
but
might be fruitful for
students
future.

On the other hand
, forcing
students
is
bad
for their
behaviour
and become an
agressive
behaviour
. There is no point in denying the fact that it cause a juvenile delinquency and violence.
Furthermore
,
students
lose your several abilities such as
independently
thinking, decision-making and
so
on.

In light above-mentioned facts, one can reach a conclusion that forcing
students
can be beneficial for gaining new knowledge,
however
it has detrimental effect on
agressive
behaviour
.
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IELTS essay Pressure on the school and university students is increasing and students are pushed too hard work when they are young.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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