Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Writing task 2 , child care training

Writing task 2, child care training p1LG3
In the recent years, training of new parents on how to raise their children has been becoming popular. I partially agree, that parenting courses can help raising children in a better way but making it mandatory, is not something I completely agree on. I this essay, I will discuss, why I stand partially on this agreement and will enlist a few reasons to support my opinion. Firstly, it is reasonable that some people disagree with teaching being mandatory. There are a few reasons for this and most significant one being time constraints. Now-a-days in this economy driven world both the parents are busy working, thus, they hardly have time for their children, consequently, attending a training course is out of option for them. To state an incidence, my friends' both the parents are employed and they try their best to spend some time with her, despite their busy schedule, but for them attending a training section would be difficult. There's also financial drawbacks, to be precise, everyone cannot afford expensive teaching classes. However, I believe that learning how to raise a child is a great way to teach their children decision making and improving morale. Even-though, parents know what they are doing, it would always be great to have extra help, as it is a tiresome process and this could lead to neglect of the child. For instance, according to a social worker, statistics of child neglect has been declined after the introduction of different kinds of parenting books. Furthermore, according to modern parenting, giving kids scope to analyze a problem, which has been not considered a good approach before this, has shown extremely fruitful results. In conclusion, I believe, these courses have a benefits which helps kids in developing discipline, raising morale and practicing empathy. Few drawbacks like cost and time can be noticed. Finally, in my opinion, child care training can be a great way to fill the gaps in today's parenting.
In the recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
on how to raise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has been becoming popular. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
courses can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to raise" or "raise".
raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a better way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
making it mandatory, is not something I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on.
Did you mean "If" or is a comma missing ("I,")?
I
this essay, I will discuss, why I stand
partially
on this agreement and will enlist a few reasons to support my opinion.

Firstly
, it is reasonable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
disagree with teaching being mandatory. There are a few reasons for this and most significant one being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
constraints.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
-a-days in this economy driven world both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are busy working,
thus
, they hardly have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
consequently
, attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
course is out of option for them. To state an incidence, my friends' both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
employed and
they try their best to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with her, despite their busy schedule,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for them attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
section would be difficult. There's
also
financial drawbacks, to be precise, everyone cannot afford expensive teaching classes.

However
, I believe that learning how to raise a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is a great way to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
and improving morale. Even-though,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know what they are doing, it would always be great to have extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, as it is a tiresome process and this could lead to neglect of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
For instance
, according to a social worker, statistics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
neglect has
been declined
after the introduction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
books.
Furthermore
, according to modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
, giving kids scope to analyze a problem, which has been not considered a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
approach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
this, has shown
extremely
fruitful results.

In conclusion
, I believe, these courses have
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a benefit" or simply "benefits"?
a benefits
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
kids in developing discipline, raising morale and practicing empathy. Few drawbacks like cost and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can
be noticed
.
Finally
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
can be a great way to fill the gaps in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Writing task 2, child care training

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    Advantages and disadvantages of owning the personal car
    In today’s modern world there is colossal upsurge in owing a car thanks to the ubiquity state of art. Moreover rapid modernisation and urbanisation has created a circumstances that it is important to have a personal vehicle so here I am going to describe advantages and disadvantages of having a four...
  • 6band
    A really bad day at a stadium because nothing went as expected
    NOTHING COULD BE WORSE IT WAS A CLOUDY OCTOBER MORNING IN GUADALAJARA WHEN MY FAMILY AND I WERE GETTING READY TO GO SEE A FOOTBALL MATCH AT THE LOCAL STADIUM. WE WERE ALL EXCITED. MY MUM GAVE ME THE TICKETS AT THE HOTEL TO KEEP THEM IN A BACKPACK. EVERYTHING WAS PLANNED PERFECTLY: WE WOULD ARRIVE AT...
  • 5.5band
    Actitvities in covid 19 pandemic
    SUGGESTED PHARAGRAH Hello everyone, my name is Khanh Trang, I’m in class 10 Chemistry – Biology at Tan Tao university upper secondary school. The Covid 19 pandemic situation is currently highly problematic. Everyone's life and activities have been touched by the global epidemic, including our new sc...
  • 5.5band
    Health is is wider concept then illness explain what do you mean by living standard and public health?
    Health is is wider concept than illness because illness is is just about disease. but health is about physical and mental condition of person. We can include mind stress, debt, consumption of food type, type of drinking water, unemployment etc. in health. That's why health is wider concept than illn...
  • 6band
    More and more students are taking online classes. Is this a positive or negative trend?
    There is a widespread concern that whether pupils should attend courses based on the Internet or not. From my point of view, enven though I believe it will be beneficial for children, I also suppose that some aspects of them have adverse influence on them. On the one hand, it is undeniable that onl...
  • 5.5band
    1. The advantages and disadvantages of studying oline
    These days, we can not deny that popoularity of the Internet in learning especially during Covid 19 pandemic. However, everything has a positive side and nagative side, and so does online learning. At first, beacause we are in social – distancing time so we have to stay at home. To learn new knowle...