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[writing task 1] - The pie charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010 v.1

[writing task 1] - The pie charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010 v. 1
In our modern times, environmental issues have become some of the most serious problems that people face. Many individuals believe that the biggest environmental problem is the extinction of specific species of plants and animals, but on the other hand others think that other environmental issues are more crucial. This essay will explain both views and provide my reasons why I believe that the extinction of one species is more important issues. On one hand, many people believe that the extinction of one specie is important because this event can affect a whole environment system. Elephants face with many dangers that can eliminate them from the World. Annihilation of elephants can affect a whole food chain. When elephants vanished, for example, tigers in the same forest will starve and also die. In the end, the numbers of tigers in the forest will rapidly decrease too. From the National Geographic channel, the rate of vanishing species is increasing from one group each ten years to one kind each two years. Thus, people realize that this issue must be concern of and solved as soon as possible. On the other hand, some people think that pollution is more crucial because this event affect the whole world. Pollution can make a living creature cannot live long because of its toxicity. For example, PM2. 5 is an essential problem to respiratory system and can cause lung cancer. Many medical journal said that all creatures that living in the area that has high PM2. 5 will be shorter life span. In conclusion, I believe that the extinction of one specific specie is the most important for the reasons that it can interrupt a food network in an environmental system.
In our modern times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the most serious problems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problem is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of specific species of plants and animals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues are more crucial. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both views and provide my reasons why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of one species is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specie
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
can affect a whole environment system. Elephants face with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
that can eliminate them from the World. Annihilation of elephants can affect a whole food chain. When elephants vanished,
for example
, tigers in the same forest will starve and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, the numbers of tigers in the forest will
rapidly
decrease too. From the National Geographic channel, the rate of vanishing species is increasing from one group each ten years to one kind each two years.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
realize that this issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be concern of and solved as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that pollution is more crucial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
affect the whole world. Pollution can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living creature cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its toxicity.
For example
, PM2. 5 is an essential problem to respiratory system and can cause lung cancer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
medical journal said that all creatures that living in the area that has high PM2. 5 will be shorter life span.

In conclusion
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of one specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specie
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the reasons that it can interrupt a food network in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
system.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay [writing task 1] - The pie charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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