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Writing Task 1 The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up to the minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below v.1

Writing Task 1 The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up to the minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below v. 1
People have different views about crimes and their punishment. In some places, the number of young age crime is escalating. Few people say that teenage criminals should be given adult punishment, not concentrating on age. While I agree that youth should not be given adult punishment. I believe that they must be given an adult sort of punishment according to the crimes. On the one hand, people argue that juvenile criminal must not be punished according to their age because of some reasons. The first and the foremost reason is that they change when they are given less punishment related to their age. Thus, there is a probability for reduced crime rates in young people. Secondly, If you put them into adult damnation there is a possibility the crime rates increase when they are left in society. Finally, they are under more risk of psychological effects where they become not only more aggressive to everyone, but also leading them into Mental disorders in their older age. For instance, In London, A 2017 study by the Cambridge University London, founded that young criminals are under more danger for Mental Disorders compared to adult criminals by 45%. On the other hand, i believe that they should be given punishments as like for a grown person. Due to some reasons. If they are not given matured punishments, they become more lavish and bold that they can get into more crimes. In addition to this, they also teach their peers about the crimes and thus leading to increased crime rates. In Scotland, For example, An article of 2015, Times of India stated that young criminals spread their crime ideas to their friends of about 20%. Moreover, there is a higher probability that they get into an immoral activity like getting addicted to drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. In conclusion, although I do not agree that young criminals should be given punishment because of criminals change, crime rates decrease and psychological effect. I believe that major crime committing young criminals should be given adult-related punishment as it escalates crimes, lavishness and boldness and bad habits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is escalating. Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, not concentrating on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that youth should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. I believe that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an adult sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
according to the crimes.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be punished
according to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. The
first
and the foremost reason is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
related to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Thus
, there is a probability for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Secondly
, If you put them into adult damnation there is a possibility the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
increase when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in society.
Finally
, they are under more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of psychological effects where they become not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
more aggressive to everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
leading them into Mental disorders in their older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
For instance
, In London, A 2017 study by the Cambridge University London, founded that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are under more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
for Mental Disorders compared to adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
by 45%.

On the other hand
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
as like for a grown person. Due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. If they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
matured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
, they become more lavish and bold that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
In addition
to this, they
also
teach their peers about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
thus
leading to increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. In Scotland,
For example
, An article of 2015, Times of India stated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
spread their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to their friends of about 20%.
Moreover
, there is a higher probability that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into an immoral activity like getting addicted to drugs, alcohol and cigarettes.

In conclusion
, although I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
decrease and psychological effect. I believe that major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
adult-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
as it escalates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, lavishness and boldness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Writing Task 1 The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up to the minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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