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The diagram below shows the life cycle of a frog. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below. v.1

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a frog. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below. v. 1
An increasing number of people are nowadays more concerned about the spare time activities. Some are of the opinion that it is necessary to utilize the free time by involving into the activities which enhance the mind and overall growth of a person while others maintain that those times should be used to rest and relax. This essay will discuss how both ways could impact the human’s life. On the one hand, using the leisure time in an effective way, for instance reading article or book, playing crossword or puzzle games, would significantly contribute the human growth. This is because, engaging in such activities, could improve one’s analytical, problem solving, and logical reasoning skills. These are vital to survive in the current competitive job market. Also, playing those games could help to release the tension which develops from the stressful job or study. However, there is a risk that continuous work of the brain could adversely affect people’s health, thus reducing their quality of life. Having said that, resting the mind during the free time is also vital in order to function effectively in the rest of the week or day. In other word, brain drainage would happen if one uses their brain without a break, which would affect his/her health. For instance, at present most people feel stressed and have to use anti-depression drugs because there is no time for them to relax their mind. In conclusion, while it is true that spending free time in a useful manner, would develop the cognitive skills, I am of the opinion that using the brain without a gap could deteriorate the people’s health, thus adequate rest should be given at least during the spare time in order to do the job successfully.
An increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are nowadays more concerned about the spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are of the opinion that it is necessary to utilize the free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by involving into the activities which enhance the mind and
overall
growth of a person while others maintain that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to rest and relax. This essay will discuss how both ways could impact the human’s life.

On the one hand, using the leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Consider replacing "in an effective way" with the adverb for "effective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an effective way
,
for instance
reading article or book, playing crossword or puzzle games, would
significantly
contribute the human growth. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, engaging in such activities, could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
one’s analytical, problem solving, and logical reasoning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. These are vital to survive in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
competitive job market.
Also
, playing those games could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to release the tension which develops from the stressful job or study.
However
, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
that continuous work of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
could
adversely
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health,
thus
reducing their quality of life.

Having said that, resting the mind during the free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
also
vital in order to function
effectively
in the rest of the week or day. In other word,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
drainage would happen if one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
without a break, which would affect his/her health.
For instance
, at present most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
anti-depression drugs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for them to relax their mind.

In conclusion
, while it is true that spending free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Consider replacing "in a useful manner" with the adverb for "useful"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a useful manner
, would develop the cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, I am of the opinion that using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
without a gap could deteriorate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health,
thus
adequate rest should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
at least during the spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in order to do the job
successfully
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The diagram below shows the life cycle of a frog. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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