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Writing task 1 a letter Write a letter to a company manager with whom you arranged a delivery of goods and say Inform him her what items you have purchased that were supposed to be delivered What issues did you face with the delivery service S v.1

Writing task 1 a letter Write a letter to a company manager with whom you arranged a delivery of goods and say Inform him her what items you have purchased that were supposed to be delivered What issues did you face with the delivery service S v. 1
Some kids desire to watch television programs and play video games same as their friends. This essay agrees that parents should not give permission to their children to behave like this. This essay will first, outline that some TV programs portrait abusive language and obscene scenes which are not suitable for kids and further, discuss that if children will spend most of their time on TV and computers their studies will be affected. It is clear that the young child's mind is very delicate, whatever will be taught to them at the younger age will have a long lasting effect on their personality and behaviour. This is to say, if parents will allow them to watch television programmes and play computer games same as their friends is risky for them as they contain vulgar words and pornographic scenes. If children will watch these scenes and listen to these words, they will use them in their day to day life when communicating with others. As a result, their overall personality development will be affected negatively. To elucidate, a recent study conducted by The Times showed that more than 80 percent of children who watch television programmes, or play online games same as their friends are more exposed to offensive language and objectionable scenes. Apart from this, if mothers and fathers will allow them to watch TV and play online games as their friends their academics will suffer. In other words, if children will spend a maximum of their time in playing games or sit in front of the idiot box they will not study and thus will not be able to core good marks in their exams. As a consequence, their future life and career will be affected badly. To exemplify, a recent study conducted by The New York Times showed that more than 60 percent of children do not perform better in schools because they spend a lot of time in seeing TV and playing games similar to their friends. To conclude, most children like to watch TV programmes and play games same as their friends, however, parents should not give them the permission because they will not only be exposed to bad language and vulgar scenes, but their studies will also be affected.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
kids desire to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
television programs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
same as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that parents should not give permission to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to behave like this. This essay will
first
, outline that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
TV programs portrait abusive language and obscene
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
which are not suitable for kids and
further
, discuss that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on TV and computers their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the young child's mind is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
delicate, whatever will
be taught
to them at the younger age will have a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
effect on their personality and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. This is to say, if parents will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
television
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
same as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is risky for them as they contain vulgar words and pornographic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
and listen to these words, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them in their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life when communicating with others.
As a result
, their
overall
personality development will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
negatively
. To elucidate, a recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
conducted by The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that more than 80 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
television
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
same as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are more exposed to offensive language and objectionable scenes.

Apart from this, if mothers and fathers will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
their academics will suffer.
In other words
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will spend a maximum of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or sit in front of the idiot box they will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
thus
will not be able to core
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
marks in their exams. As a consequence, their future life and career will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
badly
. To exemplify, a recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
conducted by The New York
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that more than 60 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not perform better in schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in seeing TV and playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
similar to their friends.

To conclude
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
same as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
,
however
, parents should not give them the permission
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be exposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
language and vulgar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
will
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Writing task 1 a letter Write a letter to a company manager with whom you arranged a delivery of goods and say Inform him her what items you have purchased that were supposed to be delivered What issues did you face with the delivery service S v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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