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writing about special day

writing about special day 9BW5W
For me all anniversaries are vital but during this year 2021 the foremost special occasion on behalf of me is January 21, 2021 at the moment is that the day my youngest brother was born. That day was the primary time I witnessed my mother biological processto a younger brother, I burst into tears as soon as my brother was born, the sensation was indescribable, mixed with joy and sadness, I'm happy to work out my brother born healthy strong but felt sorry his mother who struggled to present birth to a baby. Before that day I could not sleep I used to be so restless, anxiously waiting every minute to determine my brother welcome into the globe, I could notbelieve I used to be eighteen and that i still had a bit brother, I cried lots that day, I checked out a small baby wearing many layers, it had been so special. After I held the baby in my arms, I used to beindescribable and at that point I believed, I would like to cherish and protect him. That day isn't only special for my brother and my mother and father, but also for my whole family as we welcome a replacement friend. Now my sister is nearly a year old, very cute and healthy, but I still feel that day prefer it was yesterday.
For me all anniversaries are vital
but
during this year 2021 the foremost special occasion on behalf of me is January 21,
2021
at the moment is that the day my youngest
brother
was born
. That day was the primary time I witnessed my mother biological
processto
a younger
brother
, I burst into tears as
soon
as my
brother
was born
, the sensation was indescribable, mixed with joy and sadness, I'm happy to work out my
brother
born healthy strong
but
felt sorry his mother who struggled to present birth to a baby.
Before
that day I could not sleep I
used
to be
so
restless,
anxiously
waiting every minute to determine my
brother
welcome into the globe, I could
notbelieve
I
used
to be eighteen and that
i
still
had a bit
brother
, I cried lots that day, I
checked
out a
small
baby wearing
many
layers, it had been
so
special. After I held the baby in my arms, I
used
to
beindescribable
and at that point I believed, I would like to cherish and protect him. That day isn't
only
special for my
brother
and my mother and father,
but
also
for my whole family as we welcome a replacement friend.
Now
my sister is
nearly
a year
old
,
very
cute and healthy,
but
I
still
feel that day prefer it was yesterday.
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IELTS essay writing about special day

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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