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Writing about inventions which are useful for people

Writing about inventions which are useful for people PEwD2
Sometimes, the simple things often come from the great ideas. The idea comes from the dream. A dream for getting easy life by simple thing. That is why it is unsurprisingly, if many uncomplicated inventions can be popular abd useful. Many simple inventions can change the world. One of the simple uncomplicated invention is the fire. At that time, people had not technology today. They had to warm their body, they need to cook their food. They discovered the simple thing "fire". They tried to make it by scraping the grass with small branch under the sun light. Finally, they made fire. Today, we use it every day to cook and fly the air balloon. Sometimes, simple invantions are hard to be found by human. Usually, this need big event. Simple discovery is not always has simple function. So, I agree that most successful inventions do not rely on complicated technology. But, all things are unforgettable! big event.
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Sometimes
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simple
things
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often
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come
from the great
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ideas
. The
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idea
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the dream. A dream for getting easy life by
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simple
thing.
That is
why it is
unsurprisingly
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
uncomplicated inventions can be popular
Possible spelling mistake found.
abd
useful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simple
inventions can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the world. One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simple
uncomplicated invention is the fire. At that time,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had not technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. They had to warm their body, they need to cook their food. They discovered the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simple
thing
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
fire
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it by scraping the grass with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
branch under the sun light.
Finally
, they made fire.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it every day to cook and
fly
the air balloon.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simple
Possible spelling mistake found.
invantions
are
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hard
to
be found
by human.
Usually
, this need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Simple
discovery is not always has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
simple
function.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that most successful inventions do not rely on complicated technology.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, all things are unforgettable!
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
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IELTS essay Writing about inventions which are useful for people

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
158 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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