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Writing about changes in the countryside

Writing about changes in the countryside 7Pwgb
Concerning the matter of positive changes in the countryside, it’s undeniable that the country’s life is developing dramatically in both spiritual and material. The first and foremost change is education. Different from the past, when the previous generations didn’t have the opportunities to go to school, due to the serious shortage of places for studying, and partly owing to unaffordability, rural children now are greatly facilitated to gain knowledge and avoid being illiterate as many schools are constructed day by day. Furthermore, people live in countryside are better-equipped with a number of modern devices such as TVs, fridges, etc… Rural people in this day and age are catching up with the trend as well the city people. Moreover, as rural transportation improves, farm and rural people travel further to buy their personal and household items, along with their production items for the farm as. In short, it can be said that rural life is making a huge progress day by day.
Concerning the matter of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the countryside, it’s undeniable that the country’s life is developing
dramatically
in both spiritual and material. The
first
and foremost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
from the past, when the previous generations didn’t have the opportunities to go to school, due to the serious shortage of places for studying, and partly owing to
Possible spelling mistake found.
unaffordability
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are
greatly
facilitated to gain knowledge and avoid being illiterate as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools
are constructed
day by day.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in countryside are better-equipped with a number of modern devices such as TVs, fridges, etc…
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this day and age are catching up with the trend
as well
the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
transportation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
, farm and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel
further
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their personal and household items, along with their production items for the farm as. In short, it can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
life is making a huge progress day by day.
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IELTS essay Writing about changes in the countryside

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
161 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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