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what pressure can teenagers be facing today

what pressure can teenagers be facing today MqVXo
In the current time period of years, youngster live in a very competitive world and they have so many challenges to face, they are stressed from their study, family, work or even themselves. At first, one of the major causes leading teenage pressure is family simply because most of parents want their child to achieve excellent marks. These lead to the pressure of teenager when their parents set too many expectations and too high demands on their academic result. They are trying to compete with achievements and grades to meet their parents' expectations, so they may feel overwhelmed to get parents' hopes. In addition, young people can be under pressure in competition with peers at school, they can make comparisons between them and their peers, they think a lot about grades, study result given that they want to be the winner This results in unnecessary stress and sadness and cause lack of concentration and forgetfulness. The final reson which can make teen’s pressure is that some people are too young, but they want to go to work to support their family as well as deal with financial aid, so they stuck in heavy workloads, working in a long time, they pressured when they have to balance between their study and work
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time period of years, youngster
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges to face, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
from their study, family, work or even themselves. At
first
, one of the major causes leading teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
is family
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the parents") or simply say "most parents".
most of parents
want their child to achieve excellent marks. These lead to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
when their parents set too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
expectations and too high demands on their academic result. They are trying to compete with achievements and grades to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their parents' expectations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they may feel overwhelmed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
parents' hopes.
In addition
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can be under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
in competition with peers at school, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
comparisons between them and their peers, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a lot about grades, study result
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that they want to be the winner This results in unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and sadness and cause lack of concentration and forgetfulness. The final
Possible spelling mistake found.
reson
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
teen’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are too young,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they want to go to work to support their family
as well
as deal with financial aid,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they stuck in heavy workloads, working in a long time, they pressured when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
balance between their study and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
work
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IELTS essay what pressure can teenagers be facing today

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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