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write something about yourself

write something about yourself aAy8V
My name Is Sugam Kumar Bansal. I Have recently completed my sen sec studies from Dr. RPSD Senior Secondary school Barnala with commerce stream. I hail from Barnala. I have lived there since my childhood. it has all the facilities like ample water and electricity supply. It has many private as well as government schools and colleges for quality education. It has a civil hospital and many private clinics for immediate medical facility. I belong to a nuclear family. We are four members in the family, my father is a chartered accountant and my mother is teacher. My elder brother have recently completed his studies in abroad with computer system technician course and waiting for his work permit. in my leisure time i would like to listen music mostly romantic and soothing songs and reading books like fictional and novals due to my keen interest in computer field, i tried to learn new computer languages and practice them in free time. For example, c, c++, java, mysql, python and many others. In future, I am planning to go abroad for my further studies. in futurei would to be a chartered account and having an own accountancy firm
My name Is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sugam
Kumar
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bansal
. I Have recently completed my sen sec studies from Dr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
RPSD
Senior Secondary school
Possible spelling mistake found.
Barnala
with commerce stream.

I hail from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Barnala
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
there since my childhood.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
has all the facilities like ample water and electricity supply. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
private
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
schools and colleges for quality education. It has a civil hospital and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
private clinics for immediate medical facility.

I belong to a nuclear family. We are four members in the family, my father is a chartered accountant and my mother is teacher. My elder brother have recently completed his studies in abroad with computer system technician course and waiting for his work permit.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
my leisure time
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to listen music
mostly
romantic and soothing songs and reading books like fictional and
Possible spelling mistake found.
novals


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
due
to my keen interest in computer field,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
tried to learn new computer languages and practice them in free time.
For example
, c, c++, java,
Possible spelling mistake found.
mysql
, python and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others.
Did you mean: "In the future"?
In future
, I am planning to go abroad for my
further
studies.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
futurei
would to be a chartered account and having an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
accountancy
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
firm
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IELTS essay write something about yourself

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
196 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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