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Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the effects of peer group on children. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer.

Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the effects of peer group on children. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer. Jw83w
In recent years, more the peers' group is organized for all ages has become a broad issue to the general public. Some people believe that the peer group give many benefits for peole However, others think that it make drawback effective. In my opinion, I agree with both ideas. Discussed below are several reasons supporting my perspectives. On the one hand, people should recognize that the young generation is always recognized participate any useful activities which make from the peer groups. A very important point to consider is that they can improve necessary social skill as presentation, communication and so on. This mean is that To illustrate this point, I would like to mention that Another point I would like to make is that making a lot of new friend of the same age and the same hobby create good relationships to help for their carrer in the future. This is because of the fact that If the young generation finds the people who have the same hobbies and ambitions, they will confidence themselves about the choices for their life. For example, they can be comfortable sharing their dream, stories, and viewpoint. Because they have not explained for the parent who can know what they like. On the other hand, there are several arguments in support of the idea that more younger people emulate unpopular or weird trends in the internet or secret peer groups. In fact, people have this opinion because some people think that this way makes impress and demonstrate personality so they can mistake when can not distinguish what is benefits and what is negative. This mean is that regardless of illegal activities, some the peer group still like to do anything dangerous as long as they like. This can be shown by the example of more peer groups leading to more uncontrollability, because there are group peers give unreasonable rules as giving nude pictures, smuggling, revolting and so on, only when the participants complete all these rules to join this peer group. In conclusion, the above - mentioned facts that have created a dilemma when people evaluate the impact of this issue, and it is still a controversial issue. As far as I am concerned, I put more highlight on the idea that. People should have further consideration and raise aware ro understand on this issue.
In recent years, more the peers'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is organized
for all ages has become a broad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
to the
Consider using "public".
general public
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for
Possible spelling mistake found.
peole
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
drawback effective. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. Discussed below are several reasons supporting my perspectives.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should recognize that the young generation is always recognized participate any useful activities which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point to consider is that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
necessary social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
as presentation, communication and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. This mean is that To illustrate this point, I would like to mention that Another point I would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
is that making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
new friend of the same age and the same hobby create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
carrer
in the future. This is
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
If the young generation finds the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have the same hobbies and ambitions, they
The word 'confidence' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will confidence
themselves about the choices for their life.
For example
, they can be comfortable sharing their dream, stories, and viewpoint.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
for the parent who can know what they like.

On the other hand
, there are several arguments in support of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
Use only "younger" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
emulate unpopular or weird trends in the internet or secret
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
impress and demonstrate personality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can mistake when can not distinguish what is benefits and what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. This mean is that regardless of illegal activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
still
like to do anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as long as they like. This can
be shown
by the example of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
leading to more
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncontrollability
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
give unreasonable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
as giving nude pictures, smuggling, revolting and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when the participants complete all these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
group.

In conclusion
, the above
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
mentioned facts that have created a dilemma when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
evaluate the impact of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, and it is
still
a controversial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. As far as I
am concerned
, I put more highlight on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should have
further
consideration and raise aware
Possible spelling mistake found.
ro
understand on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.
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IELTS essay Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the effects of peer group on children. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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