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Cause of death in many country

Cause of death in many country PRjnw
Thanks to the advancements of medical equipments and its skills innovation, the living standard and the ability to prevent and cope with number of diseases are improved, which mitigate the number of death caused by the current pandemic, the COVID-19. The reason that would cause the continuous spreading of the pandemic could be the supplement of vaccines. Due to the current situation, it can be seen that the current load is not able to serve the huge population in each nation. It is understandable that vaccines should be taken test and guaranteed before these could be distributed to many countries, however, the infection rate increasingly rise cause of the new type of the virus and its spreading ability which make the situation become overwhelming and uncontrollable. Vaccines should be guaranteed and it should be within people's reach to decrease the death caused by the coronavirus. An another noticeable cause that every virus own themselves ability of evolving to cope with their disadvantage environment. It is clear from the fact of coronavirus has plenty of its transformation. The most remarkable form that has caused a devastating period for the world is the Delta, which inherit the rapid infection ability from its former form, Beta and a worse effect on human. Most of the death due to the latest burst out are the victims of the Delta form. A continuously evolution of the virus would keep coming as far as there are no solution to reduce its harmness. In conclusion, It is not viable to stop the evolution, however, it is feasible to lead the evolution of the virus thanks to the advancement of the medical units and equipment. It is suggested to protect themselves under the instruction of the national government and have a faith on the Medical Organization.
Thanks to the advancements of medical equipments and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
innovation, the living standard and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
and cope with number of diseases are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, which mitigate the number of death caused by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
pandemic, the COVID-19.

The reason that would cause the continuous spreading of the pandemic could be the supplement of vaccines. Due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
load is not able to serve the huge population in each nation. It is understandable that vaccines should
be taken
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
and guaranteed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
these could
be distributed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
however
, the infection rate
increasingly
rise cause of the new type of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
and its spreading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the situation become overwhelming and uncontrollable. Vaccines should
be guaranteed
and it should be within
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's reach to decrease the death caused by the coronavirus.

One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "a noticeable" or "another noticeable".
An another noticeable
cause that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
themselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
of evolving to cope with their disadvantage environment. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the fact of coronavirus has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of its transformation. The most remarkable form that has caused a devastating period for the world is the Delta, which inherit the rapid infection
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
from its former form, Beta and a worse effect on human. Most of the death due to the latest burst out are the victims of the Delta form. A
You used an adverb ('continuously') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('evolution') instead of another adjective.
continuously evolution
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
coming as far as there are no solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
its
Possible spelling mistake found.
harmness
.

In conclusion
, It is not viable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the evolution,
however
, it is feasible to lead the evolution of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
thanks to the advancement of the medical units and equipment. It
is suggested
to protect themselves under the instruction of the national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and have a faith on the Medical Organization.
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IELTS essay Cause of death in many country

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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