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Some people think that living the older people in old care center is beneficial, while others don't agree with this.Diss both views and and give your opinion.

Some people think that living the older people in old care center is beneficial, while others don't agree with this. Diss both views and and give your opinion. QRjKK
Some people think that it is good for older people to stay in a nursing home, while others say it is not correct. I agree with this last statement. Before embarking on my point of view, my essay will discuss the above opinion in the next few paragraphs. On the one hand, an important benefit is that older people are under the care of medical experts. To put it more clearly, in the nursing home all staff members are experienced, they always provide the appropriate treatment on time. Along with this, all equipment is available in these centers, so that in case of any emergency, the elderly do not face any problem. In addition, today individuals become materialistic, they always want to earn money by working all day, so they adopt a sedentary lifestyle and do not have time to take care of their parents. As a result, the children send their parents to a former care center where they can be treated well. Despite the line of reasoning mentioned above, I think it is better if older people live with their relatives. Mainly, they feel happy while spending time with their children and grandchildren, and happiness is good for health. To extend it, older people do not feel alone if they stay with their family, they also help their children with household chores and take care of their grandchildren, while their children go about their work. Apart from this, children save a lot of money that they have to pay if they send their parents to a nursing home. The resulting older people are not only happy but also healthy while staying with their children, because they do not feel homesickness. In conclusion, in the view of aforementioned discussion what comes to the surface is that although there are numerous positive ramifications of living in old aged home such as presence of experts and all medical equipments, yet staying with their family is the best option.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay in a nursing home, while others say it is not correct. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this last statement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
embarking on my point of view, my essay will discuss the above opinion in the
next
few paragraphs.

On the one hand, an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefit is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of medical experts. To put it more
clearly
, in the nursing home all staff members
are experienced
, they always provide the appropriate treatment on time. Along with this, all equipment is available in these centers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that in case of any emergency, the elderly do not face any problem.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
individuals become materialistic, they always want to earn money by working all day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they adopt a sedentary lifestyle and do not have time to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their parents.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their parents to a former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
center where they can
be treated
well.

Despite the line of reasoning mentioned above, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their relatives.
Mainly
, they feel happy while spending time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and grandchildren, and happiness is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health. To extend it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not feel alone if they stay with their family, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with household chores and take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their grandchildren, while their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go about their work. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their parents to a nursing home. The resulting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
healthy while staying with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not feel homesickness.

In conclusion
, in the view of aforementioned discussion what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the surface is that although there are numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ramifications of living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
aged home such as presence of experts and all medical equipments,
yet
staying with their family is the best option.
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IELTS essay Some people think that living the older people in old care center is beneficial, while others don't agree with this. Diss both views and and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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