Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Write an essay of about 250 words to answer the question: Sports and games create disturbance in students’ life because students cannot fully concentrate on their studies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write an essay of about 250 words to answer the question: Sports and games create disturbance in students’ life because students cannot fully concentrate on their studies. e5AjV
As students’ schoolings become increasingly concerned by parents and teachers in the current context, factors influencing this academic progress are inevitably open to debate. Concerns surface as some people reckon that recreational activities such as sports and video games render the students’ ability to entirely concentrate on their lessons. From my point of view, I partly disagree with this notion as there are several exceptions where partaking in leisure activities proves to be fruitful to the furtherance of one’s studies. One the one hand, it is true that engaging in the aforementioned activities may exert significantly negative impacts on the students’ lives. To commence with, this would lead to a decrease in the time utilized for their studyings at school. As a matter of fact, students who spend a lengthy of time playing soccer or sitting in front a computer’s screen might find it difficult to make room for their learnings, thus leaving them with no time to fully absorb the past lessons and prepare for forthcoming ones. Additionally, it holds true that the students’ health do not have the capability to cope with the strenuous schedule of excessive load of events, owing to the fact that they do not possess enough strength to withstand the tiredness and exhaustion ensuing from those recreational activities. Consequently, this weariness, in every likelihood, may lead to lack of concentration and, therefore, do discharge to overall quality of studyings in the long run. On the other hand, it is my contention that while sports and games do prove detrimental to students’ school life, they can be advantageous if effectively implemented. The problems arisen from those activities are not always what type of sports or genre of the games they play, rather it is the frequency they immerse themselves in them. Too much time can lead to inability to focus on lessons while the contrary might result in one’s unsatisfactory life; for this reason, a sufficient amount of time should be favorable. This would facilitate their studying’s process at school by acting as a source of incentive and also a means of relaxation. Furthermore, the disappearance of these activities would ultimately lead to deleterious effects. Being bereft of what is an indispensable part of their lives, students may experience anxiety and lack of willingness to do anything, particularly studying. In this instance, such phenomenon would only rub salt into the wound. All things considered, I am inclined to believe that a well- spent time on sports and games for students is of best solution to a successful academic studyings.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
Possible spelling mistake found.
schoolings
become
increasingly
concerned by

parents and teachers in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
context, factors influencing

this academic progress are
inevitably
open to debate.

Concerns surface as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reckon that recreational

activities such as sports and video games render the students’

ability to
entirely
concentrate on their lessons. From my point

of view, I partly disagree with this notion as there are several

exceptions where partaking in leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
proves to be

fruitful to the furtherance of one’s studies.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, it is true that engaging in the

aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
may exert
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative


impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To commence with, this would

lead to a decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
utilized for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
studyings at


school. As a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who spend
The phrase 'a lengthy of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a lengthy of


time playing soccer or sitting in front a computer’s screen

might find it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
room for their learnings,
thus


leaving them with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
fully
absorb the past lessons and

prepare for forthcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
Additionally
, it holds true that

the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
health do not have the capability to cope with the

strenuous schedule of excessive load of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, owing to the

fact that they do not possess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
strength to withstand the

tiredness and exhaustion ensuing from those recreational

activities.
Consequently
, this weariness, in every likelihood,

may lead to lack of concentration and,
therefore
, do discharge

to
overall
quality of
Possible spelling mistake found.
studyings
in the long run.

On the other hand
, it is my contention that while sports and

games do prove detrimental to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
school life, they can

be advantageous if
effectively
implemented. The problems

arisen from those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are not always what type of sports

or genre of the games they play,
rather
it is the frequency they

immerse themselves in them. Too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can lead to

inability to focus on lessons while the contrary might result in

one’s unsatisfactory life;
for this reason
, a sufficient amount

of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should be favorable. This would facilitate their

studying’s process at school by acting as a source of incentive

and
also
a means of relaxation.
Furthermore
, the

disappearance of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
would
ultimately
lead to

deleterious effects. Being bereft of what is an indispensable

part of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may experience anxiety and lack of

willingness to do anything,
particularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
. In this

instance, such phenomenon would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rub salt into the

wound.

All things considered, I
am inclined
to believe that a well-

spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on sports and games for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the best".
of best
solution

to a successful academic
Possible spelling mistake found.
studyings
.

IELTS essay Write an essay of about 250 words to answer the question: Sports and games create disturbance in students’ life because students cannot fully concentrate on their studies.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
424 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Write an essay of about 250 words to answer the question: Sports and games create disturbance in students’ life because students cannot fully concentrate on their studies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?