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Discuss advantages and disadvantages of famous players advertise

Discuss advantages and disadvantages of famous players advertise yXxw3
It is true that in recent years most famous players advertise sport products and other things. There are several advantages in this trend than disadvantages. In this essay I will explain further and give my opinion. On the one hand, nowadays it has become quite widespread to see famous sportsmen are at advertisements. Firstly they are earn a lot of money than their career at advertise sport products for instance that players took their advertise on their own social media such as instagram and facebook because it help to increase sales in this products. Furthermore some companies in order that famous actors and sport players rathen than local people. While, many times famoust players only advertise sport products. Secondly all business products help advertise with famous peoples and players. Obviously that if people in show biusinees advertise different products this widespread in the world in a few seconds. On the other hand famous persons advertise their own products and they are did not care about other company products. Also famous players advertise products has several disadventages. In some countries only actors advertise products because famous platers pay high tax if they advertise different products. In addition to this some companies also advertise products with famous players but they did not care about quality, cost and other features for this reason most of people only attention to famous players. Finally there are have this kind of advantages at advertise by famous in show business or players. In conclusion, although advertise products by famouse peoples more comprehensive in different ways and useful for increase product sales. Personally, while I believe that products advertise on social media by show business persons.
It is true that in recent years most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things. There are several advantages in this trend than disadvantages. In this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
further
and give my opinion. On the one hand, nowadays it has become quite widespread to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
sportsmen are at advertisements.
Firstly
they are
Consider using a past participle here: "earned".
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money than their career at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for instance
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
took their
The word 'advertise' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "advertisement"?
advertise
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
social media such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
to increase sales in
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in order that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
actors and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
Possible spelling mistake found.
rathen
than local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times
Possible spelling mistake found.
famoust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Secondly
all business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
.
Obviously
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
Possible spelling mistake found.
biusinees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
this widespread in the world in a few seconds. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
products and
they are
Consider using a past participle here: "done".
did
not care about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has several
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadventages
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
actors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
Possible spelling mistake found.
platers
pay high tax if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
In addition
to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they did not care about quality, cost and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
features
for this reason
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
there are
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
this kind of advantages at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
business or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
.
In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
famouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
more comprehensive in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways and useful for increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
sales.
Personally
, while I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertise
on social media by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
business persons.
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IELTS essay Discuss advantages and disadvantages of famous players advertise

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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